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4 Ways To Move On From A Painful Past

It’s not uncommon to have trauma and pain from the past lurking around and causing problems in the present. Unfortunately, unresolved emotional baggage, fear, and resentment can also hold us back from having a peaceful and productive future. It is, therefore, imperative to do what it takes to work through past experiences that hold you back from happiness. But, first, you must figure out what events or experiences are the problems. This can often take a significant amount of time, patience, and even emotional pain to discover. I recommend taking things slowly as you revisit the past. Also, know that any effort is better than doing nothing. Here are a few ideas to get you started as you make a plan to move on from a painful past.

Consciously Make the Decision to Change

When you consciously decide to change your life, you are much more likely to follow through with the work to get there. This goes double for things like healing from trauma, letting go of toxic people/things, and forgiving your mistakes. Setting an intention and making a plan means that you are aware of non-serving things in your life and are willing to change the trajectory on which you travel.

Also, when you’re making conscious decisions, you’re not blinded by emotion. Instead, the decision to move forward begins to rewire your brain to accommodate your goals. And, trust me, having your brain on board makes it much easier to take action steps toward a better life. Remember, however, it takes patience and consistency to truly stay on course.

Forgive Yourself and Others

Are you holding on to past mistakes and experiences? Do you constantly rehash arguments or conversations you’ve had with others? So harsh words ring in your head and make you feel invalid? Do you blame yourself for everything? Dr.Steve Maraboli, a well-known Behavioral Scientist, said, “The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Whatever the experience, forgiving yourself is a priority, even if technically you did nothing wrong. We can hold onto pain and trauma by blaming ourselves for allowing others to hurt us. Additionally, it’s common to feel undeserving of a better life because we’ve messed up in the past. People who have committed crimes or hurt others often live their lives as though they are forever tainted or unreachable.

We sort of have to learn how to remove these thoughts from our heads as an expunction attorney would remove a record of a crime. Dwelling on the past and beating yourself up for making bad choices is worthless and destructive. Instead, focus on learning lessons from all experiences, as you make life-improvements and move forward. 

Forgiving others also has a positive impact on happiness and life-momentum. It helps you to open up to new relationships, let people go, or work on the ones that serve your life now. Consider that there is a reason that adversity entered the relationship in the first place. It was likely meant to teach you something about yourself. Ask yourself what you learned and think about how it will help you to be a better woman.

Change Your Daily Habits

I have always found it easier to make life change when I shift small daily habits. Think about what it is that you want to achieve, and do only that which helps you to reach that goal. Also, try not to change everything all at once, as this will likely overwhelm you. Taking small steps toward change is the key to moving forward safely and effectively.

Make New Pleasant Memories

Acknowledging your past is not all bad, as it helps you to not take the same path again. However, don’t stay there. It’s important to make new memories that emphasize the good, serving qualities of your life and your potential. Spend time with people that make you happy and do things that bring out the best in you. Consider what makes you smile and feel valuable. Those things and people are your connection to a brighter future.


About Kellie R. Stone

"I make no excuses for my diverse roles as a Rock Your Feminine Type Coach™ and Branding Expert, best-selling author, and crime thriller novelist. Yes, I do still chuckle a bit at the irony. I kick ass as a women’s biz coach by day and kill off vulnerable fiction characters at night. What the hell, it makes for some interesting dreams. I believe that everyone should pursue their passions no matter how out there they seem to be. One of those pure heart-fluttering passions for me has always been writing. Since I did, indeed, chase my dream of being a writer, I've published two non-fiction books in the self-development genre, co-authored an international best seller, and now I'm finally pushing my much-too-old-to-be-in-the-nest novel out the door and into the world. My whole world is empowering and I adore showing others how to live life unfiltered, whether I do that through the written word or my coaching work. I love my job!" ~Kellie R. Stone

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