Introspective Sunday
IntrospectiveSunday
Sorry about the lateness of my post…it’s already Monday in some parts of the world. Anyway, I’d like to share a piece of prose that was an exercise from our exclusive email community. That’s why you didn’t see it on Women’s Creative Life Link. So, if you haven’t already signed up for our newsletter, please do today so you don’t miss the next issue. The form is on the right of the Home Page. The exercise was to creatively express your femininity. And because writing is my main form of self-expression, I chose to share the following.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
Soaring Feminine Spirit
By Kellie R. Stone
Soaring on the wind of endless energy, I drink in the view from far above the Earth. A soup of formless blue calms and energizes me at the same time. I am a spirit not misplaced but exactly where I should be. My thoughts – healing and joy for a planet that desperately needs hope. What can I do? What can I say that will make a difference to the millions who are in blackness? Light is in my breath, my beating heart…I am a mother, a woman, a healer. Joy strikes because I believe in myself, the truth for a feminine spirit. No walls hold back my love and compassion. No ceiling keeps me from flying upward to happiness. Making choices as a feminine spirit and nothing less. I caress the outcome of my journey with thoughtful hope. I am hope. Nothing moves my firm, but comforting, edges. I share with ease that which floods my soul. The spell will never be broken. I am feminine spirit…a healer, a messenger.
What makes you feminine?
How are you changing the world with your femininity?
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IntrospectiveSunday
How different are women and men?
Hmm, not really sure why this question just popped up into my head today; however, I’m going with it. I think there are some women who would rather eat a worm than be compared to men. On the other end of that pole are those who gladly acknowledge the distinct strengths and weaknesses of both sexes and are grateful for the comparison. It’s likely that most of us with two X chromosomes fall somewhere in between the two extremes.
As far as our life experiences, I believe that a woman’s is not so different from a man’s in terms of the actual things that happen: love, marriage, children, death, career, friendship, education, etc.. It’s far more likely that the variance comes from the way we each react to a particular scenario. For example: it’s far more likely that a woman will show her emotions while experiencing a traumatic or an extremely joyful event. And though it’s perfectly acceptable for both sexes to do this, you just don’t see very many men tearing up when they watch their best friend get married. The thing is, these differences are hard-wired into our dna. Men have been the hunters and protectors since the beginning; of necessity they are less reactive to stressful situations. I mean, what if back then when the guys had to go find food they suddenly started crying hysterically when a big scary bear jumped out in front of them instead of killing it? I’m just saying…
And, since I’m using hypothetical situations, here’s one starring a woman. What if back then when a woman had to give birth on her own, take care of that newborn without the help of Dr. Spock or new mommy blogs, suddenly just left the baby because she didn’t feel a connection with her? Not good… Sadly, this tragedy does happen. Thankfully, it’s not often.
The point to all this is just to be aware of our differences, especially when you’re trying to communicate to the opposite sex. I’m not just talking love relationships here. We have fathers, brothers, sons, male friends, co-workers, and clients. Men will always be different from women. And, we may not ever completely understand each other. Having said that, I do believe we can do a lot better though. We need to stop wanting men to be like us; to act like us; to talk like us; to understand emotional things like us; to feel like us. You get that, right? We all do it to some degree…I know I do.
So, today’s introspection is this: How can I improve my relationships with the opposite sex? How are my expectations getting in the way of good communication?
Please share your thoughts on this important subject by leaving a Life Link below…
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
Introspective Sunday
I know this is sort of a gross analogy, but I really think it’s the best one for what I want to tell you. Anyway, you know how it feels to be physically constipated, right? You sit there, trying to “go” and nothing happens. It’s frustrating…not to mention painful. And when you finally do go, WOW, what a relief! Well, I believe that the same thing can happen with our success. Like our bodies, our minds and emotions can get stopped up with junk. The result is stagnation of personal growth that, in turn, stifles success.
“Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.” ˜Jules Renard
What causes success constipation?
So glad you asked…
It’s a simple concept that goes like this: Good in, good out! If you spend most of your day taking in garbage, ie., TV, video games, negative rantings of your co-worker, your own negative rantings, the rehashed images of past failures, well, you’re bound to get a major case of clogged emotional pipes.
What should I do about it?
First, you need to clean up your mind…
Stop worrying so much about the things that don’t serve you. Those worries and concerns are hindering your life and your success. Accept the thoughts; thank them for the wisdom they brought; and let them move right on out the door…a true mind cleanse.
Second, you need to give it some positive food…
You know that old saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? Well, that goes for self-talk, too. Be good to yourself. You deserve better than to be ridiculed and cut down by your own thoughts. Instead, try to counteract those big meany moments with a couple of positive affirmations. Example: I can accomplish my goals.
Third, you need to keep giving it some positive food…
You should be still saying those positive affirmations a week later, a month later, a year later…
Fourth, get an injection of energy, inspiration, and fuel for the journey.
READ, READ, READ…LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN…JOURNAL, JOURNAL, JOURNAL…BE TEACHABLE; BE FLEXIBLE; BE WHO YOU ARE. There are so many resources for encouragement that WILL help you succeed at your dreams. Celebrate your victories every day. Remember, you will not be perfect at this. No one is. I struggle with my own success constipation from time-to-time. That’s why I know you have the same issues. And that’s why I can tell you these things.
The most important thing here is consistency. Keep moving. After all, it’s the best thing for your success…and for your bowels.
Be well-be beautiful-be happy!
Introspective Sunday
Many of you may be preparing for Halloween festivities with your children or some other fun activity, depending on when you read this. As you do, consider why holidays such as Halloween, Christmas, New Year’s, and birthdays evoke such joy and anticipation and the hard work involved in getting ready for them. I figured out a long time ago that focusing on upcoming events, goals, and pleasurable times is one way to stay motivated, to keep joy flowing like a mighty river. This discovery made me realize how important it is for women (including me) to find their life-passions, their purpose, and move forward accordingly. If you don’t have anything out there in front of you to “look forward” to or that will bring you joy when it’s accomplished, guess what? You won’t move from point A to point B very easily or with a smile on your face. No, you will fight it. Hard.
Boredom is a Joy Thief
I hate being bored. For me, it’s one of the most frustrating of all emotions. It kills my motivation, my drive, and all desire to move forward. Here’s the thing about boredom though: It is really all in your head. Literally. The emotional state that occurs when you have nothing to do is a thought process. It’s not something that someone else did to you; it’s not an illness; and it certainly is not a genetic trait. It’s you and me believing that there is nothing in the present or future that will make us happy or fulfill us. It’s a state of mind that if visited too often will zap every nugget of true joy we have.
The Motivating Factor
Now, back to those happy holidays and events…
We as moms, as women, will go to extreme to make our families happy on special occasions. Why? Well, some may have different motivations, but my guess is that most of us get something out of it…a payoff. Yes, ladies, we do. We get satisfaction out of seeing them full of joy. What if we could apply that same principle to all areas of our lives? We can. And my life is proof of it.
When I discovered what I was truly meant to do (besides being a mom), everything changed. I have never worked so hard to see something come to pass as I have to fulfill my purpose, my life-dream. I’ve always been a hard worker who goes above and beyond on jobs and projects, but eventually I always burned out or found my interest fading. Not this time. I’m committed because it’s my life, my authentic one that found ways to hide from me. I won’t give up on my journey because I’m looking just far enough ahead to focus on what’s real and doable….it’s like decorating the house for the holidays one ornament, one strand of lights at a time. Before you know it, you have it done! The finished project is a beautiful sight! What’s your motivation from point A to point B?
Be well-be beautiful-be happy!
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Introspective Sunday
Don’t Take “No” for an Answer
Do you go through emotional cycles that take you from elation to the depths of despair in short periods of time? Do you wonder why you can’t seem to keep things even-keeled and running smoothly? Do you wish you weren’t constantly moved by your circumstances whether good or bad?
Well, I can say that I’ve experienced all of the above…even some recently.
Most of this way of thinking comes from the core beliefs we have about ourselves, our place in the world, and our relationship to others. What we see and think we know about who we are can provoke the scariest roller coaster ride ever! One that getting off of is not easy…but doable with some practice.
Have you ever been to a professional, like a doctor or lawyer and asked for advice? I’m sure you have. When we seek out others for answers, we usually accept what we get as the “truth” or at least reasonable and worthy of our time and money. Right? We don’t waste any time picking up that prescription or getting that test done. We act immediately on what we “believe” is in our best interest.
But for some reason when it comes to trusting ourselves, our intuitions and self-knowing, we cringe or find every way to avoid what we hear, what we know, what we should be acting upon. Well, maybe not all the time but definitely enough that it keeps us from reaching most of our goals and dreams. One thing I realized about myself was that I tend to say “no” to myself by avoiding the important steps. The “no” is expressed in many different ways; it can be procrastination, avoidance, self-sabotage, anger, illness, depression, and my favorite: excuses!
Sound familiar to anyone?
That’s what I thought.
“Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don’t, who will?”
˜Bon Jovi
So now the only thing to do is stop saying “no” to yourself and start saying YES! This is pure grit; it’s the nose-to-the-grindstone event that changes everything about your life; it’s the decision to make something different happen; it’s you and me being who we are supposed to be…
I do this exercise to reinforce my “YES”:
Visualize yourself opening all kinds of doors, each one leading to a different place or opportunity. See and hear yourself gleaning from these places; feel yourself enjoying the benefits of your opportunities. Most importantly, know that you have the right to say “YES” to any of them or all of them! This is the key to changing those ugly core beliefs. We all have places to go and people to meet; we have purpose and gifts that need to be utilized. There’s only one way to do that: walk through those doors and just say yes…
Be well-be beautiful-be happy!
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Introspective Sunday
One of the most poisonous thoughts anyone can have is this: I can’t. Have you ever considered how many times you’ve rehearsed that statement in your mind? You don’t even have to say the words out loud or clearly identify them consciously for them to have a negative impact on your life. After a while the implication of not being able to do or receive something comes in the form of what I call “drive-by feelings.” Let me explain…
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Limitations
I’ve always loved beautiful things, clothing, furniture, jewelry, etc. but have lacked the income to purchase most of what I find attractive…it’s felt like a curse at times. I would look at photos and touch the items with unfulfilled yearning time-and-time-again just to be disappointed by my mind that always initiated words and emotions of discouragement. It was like an invisible flash card in front of me that emphatically said: You can’t have that! Most of the time I wouldn’t even hear the words; I began to feel instant emotional let down without even thinking anything. I knew I had to change this devastating “auto-pilot” response to the desires of my heart; otherwise, I would never have them.
Change Comes
One day, I opened my Internet Home Page as usual and saw an article/review for a new car created by Porsche called the Panamera. I have loved all things Porsche since I was a young teen. The photo of the new car intrigued me, so I opened the link and even researched further on the Porsche site. Surprisingly, I felt like a kid in a candy store with a pocket full of money! I didn’t feel the violating “drive-by” negative emotion, nor did my mind rehearse any “I can’t” lines. WOW! I had a HUGE breakthrough in mental awareness. This, my friends, is how you create your future! It has to happen on the inside first before you see it on the outside. I’ll let you know when I pick up my new car!`
Now, let me clarify something: you don’t have to do this with $100,000.00 cars or anything luxurious for that matter. You can be much more practical if that’s your desire. Be aware of your reactions to anything that typically has been mentally “off limits” to you; such as, overcoming chronic illness, landing a new job, a fulfilling marriage or relationship, obedient kids. Start small and work up bigger things.
Introspection
This week ask yourself what things and/or events that you truly want in your life. Write down your answer in your journal. Now, next to that list, record how you feel and what you think when you think about those things. Is it negative, positive or indifferent? Focus on why wanting those items and changes causes subsequent emotions whether they be pleasant or discouraging. Remember, awareness is your first step to changing. Also consider this is not going to change overnight. Practice makes perfect in this case.
Be well-be beautiful-be happy!
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Introspective Sunday
How many of are ready for your deepest desires and dreams to come true? Now, how many of you don’t believe it can happen for you?
I’m Journey Coach, Kellie Stone, and I’m here to tell you that you can see your dreams manifest before your eyes. There is a saying that goes like this: You have not failed unless you stop trying. Boy, have we all heard that one or others that tell us that we simply need to keep going, to hold vigil to our innermost dreams with each passing day; it gets a little redundant hearing the message. Here’s the thing: Why do so many give up, stop trying, even turn their backs on what it is they thought was SO important to them? Quite an Introspection…
I’ve spent many days “pumped up” about the future, my desires, my hopes and dreams. On the contrary, there have been many that I’ve wallowed in the depths of despair due to the lack of motivation and faith to continue on the Journey to success. You see, sometimes people whom you think have everything “together” are really struggling with many of the same things you are. Life Coaches, Doctors, Counselors, Teachers, Ministers, and even Spiritual Gurus come to places of concern, challenge, and disappointment in the pursuit of life goals. In fact, EVERYONE experiences this at one time or another!
What I’m going to tell you, anyone can do…anyone! That’s important considering too many women out there really believe that you have to posses some kind of X-Factor to get what you truly want and need. Not so! If you are teachable; you can accomplish anything you desire to! I’ve done these six steps and understand how they work. And, yes, doing all of them together DOES work! My life is full of manifestations of dreams and goals. Some I’ve had for years, and some are newborn babes. OK, now for the keys to unlocking your dreams!
Step One: Inception (origin: an event that is a beginning; a first part or stage of subsequent events)
You know how sometimes things are ugly at the beginning, ie., the pile of paint supplies before you paint; the mess of ingredients on the counter before the gourmet dinner; the wrinkled, red-faced newborn baby (still cute, but not pretty). These examples are meant to help you see how “beginnings” are not always glorious, nor do they normally resemble the end result in any way, shape, or form. The point is that you have start somewhere; it might as well be today, right? The key is your intention: Are you making Lasagna or Spaghetti? Do you want to write a book or a poem? Clarify the what first. And don’t worry about what it looks like. Starting is a key to manifesting your dreams.
Step Two: No Looking Back (Forward MARCH!)
You have now stepped onto a path…Your Journey. The length, breadth, and challenge level of that path is as unique as you and your dream. As much as we all love to look back over our shoulders at what is behind us, this is not the time to do that. Have you ever watched an Olympic track event? Notice that the competitors don’t look around or back at who is near them. They focus wholeheartedly on the finish line. That is where the reward is. If runners lose concentration for just one second, it could mean losing their position, falling, and eventually losing the race. Sound familiar? Forward focus is a key to manifesting your dreams.
Step Three: Set Goals: (Goal Setting involves establishing specific, measurable and time-targeted objectives.)
This imperative step carries your “what” along the path with steadfast determination. I’ve read and heard a lot about this step to success, and honestly, I think there is something that most people don’t understand: they don’t set obtainable goals. Why aren’t they obtainable? Because they don’t believe in their ability to obtain them. You see, you can’t manifest anything you don’t believe…including the completion of a goal. Setting believable goals is a key to manifesting your dreams.
Step Four: Invest Time, Emotion, and Effort Wisely: (investment – the commitment of something other than money (time, energy, or effort) to a project with the expectation of some worthwhile result.)
A dream deserves your best, right? It does if you want it to be a reality . You can’t just lay around and expect things to happen on their own (well, at least not everything). Let me explain. There is a thing called working smart that is WAY too often overlooked in leu of working harder. Putting forth effort the right way and toward the right dream-enabling things will get you there far faster and with less stress than you can even imagine. Your mind and emotions have more to do with your dreams than your toil and trouble do…really. Keeping your mind, heart, and spirit focused on the positive outcome and how it will change your life is a key to manifesting your dreams.
Step Five: Track Your Progress (observe or plot the moving path of something).
It’s somewhat like following a map to your destination. If you don’t know how to do that, get a navigator or a Journey Coach. Just make sure you know where you are with your goals at all times. This is where you facilitate changes for an efficient passage to the end. You also will see your finish line more clearly and with emotional gratitude. Tracking your progress is a key to manifesting your dreams.
Step Six: Enjoy (derive or receive pleasure from; get enjoyment from; take pleasure in)
I highly recommend that you start step six from the beginning, carry it through the whole process, and lavish it at the finish line. You must find a way to love this path you’ve chosen or you WON’T get too far. Joy is a key to manifesting your dreams.
Now, if you notice, the six steps are actually an acronym for the word IN-SITE. Inception-No looking back-Set Goals-Invest-Track-Enjoy
IN-SITE is also a coaching package that I will be offering on the new Women’s Life Link and corresponding sites that are under construction. I will talk more about it in the coming weeks as I’m in the depths of my own IN-SITE process for my dream. But if you can’t wait to hear about this opportunity to make your dreams come true, email me at womenslifelink@gmail.com.
Be well-be beautiful-be happy
Photo two by Obliwen-kenobi
Introspective Sunday
Do you ever just see yourself, your life, and your future as being a part of one big scene of camouflaged wilderness? You know…it all seems to blend in without uniqueness or boldness. I had an experience as I was looking out on the lake last night, and I valued it so much, I thought it worthy of posting. It’s extremely dark in the area where I live. If it weren’t for the lights around the pool and clubhouse, you would barely be able to see anything. However, lights from the apartment buildings reflect on the water just enough to enable you to see an occasional hungry fish jump for a bug or the young family of ducks wander the gamet of the lake until their mom calls them back. Last night was especially dark, so I was a little bummed that I couldn’t see any of the usual wildlife in action.
And then, I saw him…or her.
A beautiful white duck swimming toward me. I had not seen it before. It wasn’t of the brown duck family. It was the proverbial “sign” that suddenly gave me inspiration where there was none.
He continued to swim around for awhile, just long enough for me to “get it”. I realized that I want to be the white duck in a pond of brown ones; that I want to stand out in contrast to the dark, muddy lake; that I CAN create a life that is extraordinary! Yeah, all that from the appearance of…One White Duck.
It’s our responsibility to bring our uniqueness to the forefront; to allow others to glean from our brilliance and gifts; to make a statement loud enough to be heard from a distance; to shine in our darkness and that of others.
So, I ask you today: Are you living a “white duck” life? Are you fulfilling the purpose of your special “contrast” to the world?
Tell us your “white duck” dream.
Be well-be beautiful-be happy
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Introspective Sunday
Well, I couldn’t think of a more appropriate day to come back to my regular posting than the one where I “Introspect”. It’s been an interesting couple of weeks moving into a small two bedroom apartment with my youngest daughter. This transition from being married and living with five other people to it being just the two of us is revealing. Let me explain.
Ever since I can remember, I have sought out other people, friends, family with which to spend the majority of my time. Though my tendency to do this has not changed, it’s the opportunity to “always have people around” that has. You get used to having other bodies present, hearing voices other than your own, getting irritated by the quirkiness of other humans. The time alone, or semi-alone, is just a different kind of animal for me. A part of me cries; a part of me rejoices, and I’m OK with that. It’s good to even say that, knowing that there was a time when I had to separate each event into two categories: Good and Bad. Well, this is neither good nor bad; it just is what it is.
My introspection is this: What are the reasons I find being around others all the time appealing? What are the challenges? How can I find more energy and fulfillment being by myself?
If you have the opposite challenge of feeling overwhelmed when with others and find it difficult to be around groups of people, ask yourself these questions: What are the reasons I find being alone so appealing? What are the challenges? How can I find more energy and fulfillment being with people?
My Discoveries
♦ I don’t like being alone because there is no one to listen to my ideas.
♦ I receive energy from the presence of others.
♦ I like to look at people and listen to their voices, hearing what they have to say.
♦ My personality type is one that receives energy from regular touch and interaction with people .
The Challenges
♦ I don’t get quality time to do this introspection thing…LOL
♦ I ignore my own needs.
♦ Missing too many important points of self-improvement due to constant interaction with others.
♦ I can’t listen to the music I want to or sing without getting an emphatic “Shut up!”
Finding Balance
♦ I can practice being alone by doing things that I love like visiting a museum or garden park.
♦ Schedule time with friends and family so I have events to look forward to.
♦ Continue to introspect during times of solitude (that sounds so much better than saying “being alone”).
♦ Allow myself to feel the emotions without judgement.
If you feel inclined to do so, please join me in today’s self-awareness exercise and share your discoveries!
Be well-be beautiful-be happy!
Introspective Sunday
It’s a beautiful day in Indy; the birds have been serenading since around 5:00 AM. My soul is connected to nature more now than ever. I believe in the force that drives us all to live and breath. In considering my place in the world, I suddenly got a picture of a child standing at the edge of a street, wanting to cross but a little hesitant because of all the times she was warned that something “bad” could happen. She wants what is on the other side, she excitedly thinks but knows that there are obstacles to getting there.
“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.”
˜Doug Firebaugh
Moving ahead in life (crossing the street) is just another way of bringing clarity about who you are and understanding of “what” lies before you. Though there may be scary things or challenges to that move, it still is a part of life, the “real” life we are supposed to live. It’s OK to be hesitant, but with all courage girded up, the best thing is to “look both ways before crossing” and proceed when It feels right.
Asking for Help
Even a child knows they have limitations and is aware of actions that should not be attempted without help. We really aren’t a whole lot different when we grow up; we still need help from time-to-time. It’s a lot easier to move when you know that others have your back…like the child that knows mom or dad is standing close by, hand outstretched, ready to assist in her next step.
It’s Worth Another Look… just in case
One of the things I always do while driving is be constantly aware of where I am, what is around me, and what danger might be lurking ahead – true defensive driving. When I make any kind of turn, I always look both ways and then look back to the left one more time before I pull out into any intersection. This precaution has saved me from many accidents. The world has too many people who don’t look before they leap…it’s those people from which we must defend ourselves.
One thing I understand about any kind of progress whether it be “life” or “vehicular travel” is that to be driven by fear hinders and actually makes bad things happen; to be moved by confidence and clarity gets you there and more securely.
Ask yourself: What is on the other side of the road that you want? What obstacles are in your way? How do you proceed? Feel free to tell us about your special “crossing”.
Be well-be beautiful-be happy.
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Introspective Sunday
Facing adversity is a part of life…sorry, that was sort of a DUH statement. It is in times of trial that we really see what we’re made of. All of the bugs come out of the woodwork so to speak. And some of them can be big and ugly. I want you to think about how you handle hard events and emotional trial. When the Cortisol starts flying, do you run for the hills or do you stay put; do you turn into Medusa or are you calm, collected, and gentle?
“Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these”
˜Susan B. Anthony
Though all of these emotional reactions are perfectly normal, humanity as it should be, they aren’t all becoming of us. I’ve been challenged with numerous life events that have literally knocked me on my ass and taken a good part of my composure. Yes, even life coaches go down. We are all vulnerable to the storms of life, but it’s how we react to them that sets the stage for what’s next. Coming to emotional milestones on your journey is something you should want; without meeting them and pushing on through them, we would stagnate and ultimately fail at reaching our potential.
Initially, it can be difficult to get your bearings; the reason for most poor choices and distress. The panic mode that we all feel sets in. I have found that owning these heightened emotions is the best way to overcome the pattern of making erratic choices and setting yourself up for failure. It’s OK to feel hurt, angry, confused, or any of many negative emotions. However, it’s crucial that you find a way to turn your experiences into positive springboards, to find a forward-motion that keeps you on track to grow and make changes for the better.
Remember that nobody is perfect; nobody plays fair 100% of the time; nobody is going to go through life without being hit with challenging situations. Take a moment to clarify your emotions right now. Recognize the negative as an important part of who you are. Then put it into a place where it can’t destroy your dreams and goals. What are these feelings trying to tell you? Where do you need to go from here? Introspection. Be well-be beautiful-be happy.
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The Courage To Be Me-The Courage To Be You
Introspective Sunday
I was reminded today about how lucky I was that my two oldest children (now adults) were not high-strung, rebellious, down-right nasty, or any of those negative personas that make any woman reconsider her motherly throne. But that was like a million years ago. The “others”, I say and hate to separate them, are testing my sanity at the core….yes, even the Missy Moo (two-year-old girl).
The rebel-fest causes this mega form of introspection that, honestly, I hate. Why? Because I never win in the inner battle for understanding of what the hell teenagers are all about? After all, I’ve done my best; what could I have possibly done that’s so bad to enlist such disrespectful behavior? And what did I do SO differently with the older ones? I’m left with one desire: to catch the next airplane to an island in the Caribbean…alone to enjoy peace.
What thrilling, ugly times (or anything in between) have you gone through with your teen? And how does experiencing this change you as a mother? What kinds of things do you think about yourself as a mother? Be well-be beautiful-be happy.
Introspective Sunday
Ah, those wonderful – and cursed – emotions, earning the right to compete with the most thrilling and frightening of roller-coasters. I’m not talking about the extremes that would land you a bi-polar diagnosis, no, just the ordinary ones that take you from one day to the next; the ones that may, on occasion, make you question your sanity but are benign…for the most part.
“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.”
˜Alex Tan
OK, so I’m really not an advocate for negative emotions, but I do see that Alex Tan has a point with the above quote. Think about how boring and flat-lined life would be if we never felt anything but one constant emotion…like a really bad amusement park ride. When we cry, hurt, feel fear, disgust, anger, we are experiencing life, ours. We must own it. Feeling pain of any sort is not a curse but a gift to let us know that something isn’t right.
There is a condition called CIPA or congenital analgia that renders its victims unable to feel any pain. Sound divine? Think again. Though extremely rare, those affected usually end up dying before the age of 25. It is dangerous, especially for children, to not feel pain as it is the primary way we sense threats. I want you to consider this when thinking about “why” you might feel emotional pain one day and joy the next. We need that type of stimulation to understand what is good for us and what is not. Additionally, the obvious emotional “swing” is also a survival mechanism for our bodies. If our mood never changed, we would eventually enter into a life-threatening place of either severe depression, anxiety, anger, or even elation. Balance is the key.
I get emotional about things that I can’t change in my time (one of my weaknesses). However, I’m learning how to evaluate through feeling into the emotional feedback my soul is dishing out for any given day. It works to alleviate most of the despair and puts me on a higher level of understanding of myself and my place in the world. It beats feeling frustrated all the time.
Those “ups and downs” are not really bad for you, well, unless you keep repeating the same scenario a million times. Try using emotions as a springboard to life-lessons, remembering the worst thing is to not acknowledge them as vitally important or as warnings. Consider also that any constant emotional changes could be linked to hormones and brain chemicals as well; either case, they are red flags meant to grab your undivided attention. Seek medical/psychological help if you need it, by all means. Otherwise, go with the feelings, without being hard on yourself. Emotional balance takes time and practice. Be well-be beautiful-be happy.
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Introspective Sunday
I’ve often wondered why some people are just naturally happy and others are chronically distraught or depressed. Is there really that much difference between the circumstances of each to cause such a dramatic opposition? I mean, really, don’t we all have good days, bad days, bills that kill, kids that hit home runs, health issues, triumphs, and tragedies? So, if we are all more alike than we think, why the attitude difference?
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.”
˜Denis Waitley
I’d like to point out five keys that I use to remind myself that true happiness is a choice…an active one. While reading the following, ask yourself these questions: If I incorporate these simple actions into my life, how will my state of mind be affected? Will I be happier? Is there a reason being happy is so difficult? Before you do, rate your happy-level on a scale from 1 – 10.
♦ Live in the moment; the past is behind you, the future is unknown. There is no time like the present to be.
♦ Focus on your relationships, not being right. People who concede to others during disagreements are more well-adjusted and generally less likely to get stress-related illnesses.
♦ Be aware of your thoughts. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in your own drama. We can create a world with our minds. The question is, what kind are you working on.
♦ Do everything out of love. Giving above and beyond to help others and by putting them first is a sure way to bring joy into your life.
♦ Be grateful. Each day, write or speak out what you are thankful for. Tell those whom you love that they are important. The rewards are endless.
If this seems like a lot, try adding one a week to make sure you have given each a solid go. Reevaluate your progress after a month to see where you are on the “happy scale”. Be well-be beautiful-be happy.
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Introspective Sunday
Void: Containing nothing; empty; vacant; not occupied; not filled.
It’s a likelihood that most of us have some form of void in our lives, whether it be in a relationship, our spirit, or our physical body. These empty places can remain for years without causing any noticable problems or they can immediately prod until action is taken to fill them.
One way to look at it is to imagine you just moved into an old house. It’s beautiful and just want you’ve been dreaming of your whole life. You enjoy your first months there through the summer and fall. Most of the time you are able to open the windows, feeling the incredible breeze that passes through from the front to the back. Mature trees keep the home cool and eleviate the need to use the cooling system. It’s bliss.
Fast forward to the winter months. You are not so comfortable anymore. Suddenly, the windows are insufficient, drafty, and leave you wishing you’d reconsidered your purchase. The constant cold is distracting and expensive. The gaps in the windows, the same ones that were there in the summer, now have your attention. Something must be done.
Our lives can easily go from one extreme to the other as in my little example. It’s usually circumstace that dictates whether we act on a void or not. I believe most everyone has had some tragic event happen that makes us realize that we have ignored our spirits. All of a sudden we cry out to God, not caring that we haven’t spoken to him in months or even years. This is a spiritual void.
“Between the finite and the infinite
The missing link of Love has left a void.
Supply the link, and earth with Heaven will join
In one continued chain of endless life.”
˜Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Or what about the six month void of exercise you feel all too well after you go on a five mile hike with your son’s scout troop? Ouch. Thankfully our bodies are extremely adaptable and find ways to keep going even when we ignore them. This is a physical void.
Is your primary relationship everything you want it to be? Mine isn’t. Can we do something about it? Of course. We can fill it with the things that are missing. It’s like using spackle to fill holes in the wall. You first apply it, then you wait; it dries. You’re not finished yet. A little elbow grease and sand paper here will smooth it out and make it ready to seal with a new coat of paint. That hole in your marriage (or wall) has to bother you enough to fill it though. This would be classified as an emotional void.
The good thing about voids is they can always be filled; they can change almost instantaneously. Recognizing them is by far the most difficult part. Here’s a few questions to help you determine if you have any “drafty windows” in your life. 
♦ Do you often feel lonely even when you are with people?
♦ Are you inconsistent with your spiritual practices; such as, prayer, meditation, seeking like-minded people for fellowship?
♦ Does your primary relationship leave you feeling bored and frustrated?
♦ Does your physical health waver from good to bad often?
♦ Are you moody and can go from one extreme emotion to another within a short period of time?
♦ Are you always searching for the next best thing in most areas of your life?
Don’t worry if your answers seem to reflect some emptiness; it’s just the revelation you need to do something about it. I’ve had to do this exercise many times and plan to do it many more. Filling voids is another way of creating balance in our lives, life-giving balance. In other words, it’s not to be taken lightly.
We need to look closely at ourselves, our relationships, and our physical existence to determine what our needs are and how to meet them. This is your responsibility. No one is going to do this for you. Being satisfied and complete is a part of fulfilling your purpose and caring for the life you’ve been given. Time to get out the putty and fill those voids…don’t you think? Be well-be beautiful-be happy.
Photo by Marinshe (Check out the photographer’s insights about emotional emptiness.)