More Out of Monday What’s Left of Monday with Madeline♥
I’m Madeline – a healthfully humorous, radically ridiculous, momentarily messy broad here to give you a flicker of joy at the start of your week.
I can remember all of the wonderful mistakes I made as a young mom…for instance:
My son and I think that natural bodily functions are one of life’s hilarious misgivings. When he was about three and discovered that farting was funny, we would laugh and laugh when one escaped his cute little bum. After some time they wouldn’t escape gracefully; he would force them into the universe, adding to the mass of gases already in the atmosphere. He would sit on the floor, put his forehead to the ground and just giggle that wonderful giggle that little boys have. Ya know, the one that starts from their toes and then explodes from their belly?
Sometimes he would fart and peek under the coffee table; the search for the barking spider or frog that escaped from under his foot, as my grandfather had taught him. A real family affair - a bunch of people sitting around farting, burping, laughing, and arguing about who’s was louder or longer. Got a visual yet? And you wonder why I’m so twisted…
We’d entertain ourselves for hours, until this fine day…
We were in the doctor’s office playing with the cardboard puzzles and he suddenly sprang off the chair, ran around in circles, waving his tiny little hand behind his butt as he was giggling and saying, “I farted mommy! I farted!”
I didn’t react at first, mostly because I was embarrassed. But then he looked at me and said, “Come on mommy, it’s funny, you laugh.” And I just couldn’t help myself. I burst into hysterics…while I was trying to tell him it wasn’t polite to do this sort of thing in public.
The other mother’s didn’t think it was funny at all; the disapproving poison-laced blow dart looks pierced. Of course, those pious lint lickers were out on the limb called hypocrite-of-the-century. With what-goes-around-comes-around gleefully rolling in my head, I forced myself to hold back from stopping him; I sat back down and, without a care, picked up a magazine. He ripped around the room, laughing and waving his hand like a whizzing balloon losing its air. I saw how much fun he was having…it really was harmless. Once I saw how humorless the other women in the waiting room were, it made it even funnier. I told you I was twisted…thanks Grandpa.
Just to let you know, my son and I did have a little chat about when and where farting is appropriate. I’m ready to hear some of your body function stories….spill it, ladies.
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