More Out of Monday with Madeline♥
I’m Madeline – a healthfully humorous, radically ridiculous, momentarily messy broad here to give you a flicker of joy on the (in most cases) most indignant day of the week.
Monday is like…
…finally getting a pair of Ray Ban’s and losing them just like all the previous 51 pairs of $9.00 sunglasses you’ve owned. It hurts more, mocks more, and costs more.
Bonjour! And for anyone who might not know that is French for hello, all I can say is, good, Lord, are you living in a box? Speaking of being in small spaces, I have a fun story for you today; it’s a real gas. It Starts with a tornado warning and a home without a basement.
It was a late summer evening, my husband, children, and I were home playing a board game. Suddenly, we hear the emergency siren go off. The wind was picking up and the sky darkening – a storm warning we presumed. We turned on the TV just in time to see that it was not only a storm but a tornado that was threatening our county.
At the time, we lived in a home with no basement. Our only shelter from such a storm was a utility closet in the center of the house. If your UC is anything like mine, it holds the trash can, broom, mop, cleaners, junk galore, and probably hasn’t been swept or mopped for sometime. Yeah. Pretty gross.
Anyway, after throwing all of the previously listed items out, we proceeded to scrunch 2 adults, 3 kids, a cat, and a bird into the 5X4 space. Are you getting the visual? Now, I’m all for storm safety, but what happened next was enough to make me rethink my position…literally. I’m just going to say it: My husband farted…
Ladies, you know how the male digestive system can gag a maggot (sorry guys) in a normal sized room. Try being in a closed space and, unlike a car, it had no ventilation – a fate worse than being hurled to the next county by a swirling vortex of death. Needless to say, we poured out of the closet…quickly. Thankfully, the tornado struck about 5 miles to the north.
I have tons more fart stories, but I’d really love to hear yours. Do tell. Usted puede compartir hasta en francés. Figure it out for yourself, you women of the world…
LOL I have fart stories but not as funny as that one. Nice to meet you Madeline.