You know, I’m all for the hype about how smart, strong, and capable women are when compared to our male counterparts, but I also can’t help but notice the dumb, dumber, and dumbest things women do. Now, I’m telling you these things not to make fun of these women but to somehow warn you not to attempt any of them. Really. Don’t do it…ever.
Here are the top 5 Dumbest Things I’ve ever seen a woman do:
1. Easy Rider - I looked out my window one day and witnessed a woman riding her bike while holding an infant in her arms. Seriously? Was she drunk? On drugs? I almost called the police, but she disappeared before I could do it. It was one of those moments where I really wanted to laugh because it was so dumb, but the angry mom in me was too furious to even snicker. And keeping me from laughing is a monumental task.
2. Disappearing Act - My husband and I were at the grocery store one evening. While looking for an open, or less crowded check out lane, we noticed one a few rows down that looked empty. When we got there, we noticed the cashier had a scowl on her face. She had a belt full of groceries, a cart blocking her lane, and a toddler standing there, waiting for his mother to return. Again, really? This mother had not only wandered away to seek more groceries in a crowded grocery but had left her very young child alone for at least 10 minutes. We checked out in the next lane and were able to watch this whole thing transpire. Finally, the cashier left her station and walked the direction in which the woman had and found her. She had two other older children with her, who ran ahead to join her toddler, as she mosied (I mean slothed) back to the check out lane. The cashier was furious! I was furious! Wishing I could just laugh.
3. Impersonator – Years ago, I had a friend (a troubled one). She had fallen into the unfortunate situation of being addicted to prescription drugs. This woman had a one track mind, where getting her next fix was concerned. After being arrested, she had to explain to me why. This is what she did to land herself in jail: She called the pharmacy, impersonated a representative from her doctor’s office, and proceeded to attempt ordering a prescription for herself. At the time, because she was a friend, I didn’t laugh, but now…..LMFAO! BTW, we are no longer friends.
4. Serving Sex - When I was younger, I waited tables for a living. One Friday night, a fellow server got seated one person at a 6 top. The young man sat waiting for the rest of his group. She immediately raved to me about how hot she thought this man was. Now, understand, this co-worker was not exactly shy or coy about her attractions. She was known as the resident “little red corvette”, if you know what I mean. I sort of watched her, as I attended to my tables. She practically threw herself at this dapper, unsuspecting customer. Sex appeal dripped from her like a thick honey. Now, she obviously didn’t recognize the man, and neither did I. Five minutes later, the rest of the party walked in and was seated. It was the restaurant’s owner and his family. The young man turned out to be his daughter’s fiance! Though she didn’t get fired, she never really lived her indiscretion down.
5. Facebook Fool - A Facebook acquaintance posted to her status the following: ”I’m so tired of you weirdo guys stalking me. Please just mind your own business.”
Now, I’m sure you’ve heard women complaining about how they get unwanted attention from skeevy guys. Well, the funny thing about this woman was that before getting all of those “stalky” comments, she had posted some rather revealing photos of herself. I think she loves the attention and just complains to brag about it. That’s the equivalence of posting “Just leave me alone” in your social media status. Pretty dumb.
There are simply some things that just get my goat. Female stupidity is one of them. We all make mistakes (myself included), but we really owe it to ourselves, and the rest of the world, to get our shit together. Don’t you think? The next time you wonder if something is too dumb to do…guess what? It probably is. The bad thing is I wonder if the perpetrators above even cared about how inconsiderate and even dangerous their actions were. But thanks for giving us something to laugh about, or at least shake our heads at.
Which of the 5 do you think was the dumbest? What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen a woman do?