You know how you feel when someone rudely interrupts you? Awkward. Frustrated. Inferior. Angry. Maybe all of these emotions and more. I’ve been on both the interrupted and the interrupter sides of many conversations, and, honestly, I don’t feel good about either position. Though I try not to ever cut anyone off, it happens…and I usually feel bad about it afterwards. I hate getting interrupted. It makes me feel disrespected and unimportant. I stand there wondering whether I should try to restate my point or just let go. Sometimes I forget what I was saying altogether.
My life lately has reminded me of one of those awkward interruptions. So many tough things going on all at once stopped me in my tracks. I stood, trying to gather my thoughts and what residual aspects of my life I could. Like an old LP skipping on a glitch in the vinyl, my attempts to restart were suddenly hindered by thoughts of doubt and confusion. The positive thing was that I knew and understood that moving past glitches is not as hard as it seems…though I didn’t go with that ideal at first. I wallowed.
Smoothing out the Rifts
Without going into the details of my personal challenges (trust me, some huge ones), I would like you to know that I’ve been through a lot and can relate to so many of you who might be in a place of despair. I would also like to encourage you to not give up no matter how hard things seem to be. The first thing to hang on to is that everything changes. Second, give yourself time to understand yourself and what is really happening with you and around you. At first the “rift” may be too sharp or deep to cross or even look at. This stage is normal and very human. I recently beat myself up for feeling fear and not having the ability to make everything OK when I wanted it to be. Try to avoid this if possible. Resistance always makes things more dramatic and harmful to your body, mind, and spirit.
Taking Care of Yourself
My recent challenges involved other people in my family. As a mom, it’s not always easy to take care of myself when I see the needs of others piling up around me. But, here’s the thing…if we don’t take the time to stay healthy and rested, we won’t be any good for anyone. There is a reason why, during the short emergency training at the beginning of every flight, they teach you to first place your oxygen mask on and then help others. Stressful situations can bring out our innate desire to support those around us (it’s who we are as women, as moms), but in reality, we must serve ourselves first if we want the best results. I’ve struggled with this my whole life. It has served me well to first ask myself these questions before diving into the needs of others: “How are you doing today? Are you serving yourself in this situation? Do you need something in order to be in optimal health and well being?”. If my honest self answers mean I need to change some things, I do try to comply.
This is also a good time to ask your spiritual support system to enter stage left. I noticed during the hardest times I tend to slack off on my regular spiritual routine due to exhaustion and stress. However, I also noticed that this slack makes things even more difficult and imbalanced. Prayer and meditation does enhance your life and state of wellness in every area of your life. Check yourself in this area. If you don’t have any spiritual practices, this might be the time to start seeking. I also turn to trusted friends and mentors who always seem to have the right words and energy to lift me up.
Finding the Balance
Balancing all of life’s challenges with the normal demands can seem impossible (like juggling chainsaws), but it can be done with practice and the right mindset. Yes, the mind is the key to overcoming anything. If you believe things will end in shambles, then they likely will. If you believe in yourself and your ability to walk through the storm, you will triumph and even discover some things about yourself. So, get your mind healthy and clear first. If we waiver in self confidence (as we all do), our lives will sway to and fro every time. I keep a box under my bed that contains special trinkets from my life and notes and cards of encouragement from family, friends, and clients. Whenever I get down or feel I can’t do something, I get it out and take in every positive word and emotion I stored there. It always brings me closer to a place of balance and mental strength.
It’s important to find what works for you. My little tricks or your best friend’s may not be your key to success. Just observe everything around you and your emotional responses to discover what works and keep doing those things. Truth is, we all need time to work through the glitches in our lives. Time will bring peace and balance if we stay focused on our truth and the positive that we know of ourselves.