“Long Hair Sucks,” She Said

Long Hair

Destined to look like a boy, the short pixie cut I was forced to get at eight years old sealed the unthinkable deal. You see, my mother told me that having long hair was impractical and that mine was stringy, and it sucks! Of course, I believed her. After all, she was my mom, who wore her stylish, short locks well. I remember sitting in the salon chair watching my budding long, blonde hair softly fall to the ground. It stung, but it was nothing compared to the anguish I felt while looking in the mirror. And you can imagine my horror of being chastised by an old lady in a restaurant women’s bathroom because she thought I was a boy. But she was wrong; I was a little girl with a bad haircut!

I now know that long hair is a valid option if you care for it and enjoy the way it makes you feel. As a seasoned adult, with hair halfway down my back for the first time, I can honestly say that Long Hair Rocks!!! This realization prompted a reevaluation of what I had believed as a child and why. What else was I inaccurately told and coaxed to believe? Mostly, I hoped that I hadn’t passed these and other baddies onto my children.  But you know how easy it is to become your parent or caretaker. Damn.

Pets

The second horrible thing I was told was that pets were just pets and weren’t worthy of spending money on. Because of her belief, I watched a cat that I loved dearly suffer a devastating respiratory infection out in the freezing cold until he died hanging over a woodpile. I went along with her wishes and just grieved my loss because there was nothing I could do as a kid. I’ve loved animals and pets my whole life and have lost many that could have been saved. As an adult, I now set the rules for  animals that grace my family’s home. As far as I’m concerned, they are a part of the family unit and deserve the best care we can afford. Nuff said!

Aging

The next one is about aging. I was told as a young girl that if you didn’t do facial exercises, you would age quickly. I remember the exercises like it was yesterday. Watching her stretch this, and work that was the norm I came to believe in and copy. She bought every book and face tool available to prevent aging, and did it with an impressionable girl watching. I don’t do the facial workout and haven’t aged prematurely… despite all of the physical challenges I face daily. I do, however, take good care of my skin. Thanks, Mom for introducing me to Merle Norman, you showed me the importance of a solid skincare routine at a young age (that’s what has kept me looking young)!

Money

Last but not least, money worries were drilled into me early on and frequently. “There is never enough money,” and “It always goes fast,” were spoken whenever I needed or wanted something. I understand you can’t give a child everything, but this misconception was played out until my mother got sick, and I took over her finances. Her poverty was all in her mind. As it turned out, she sat on a small fortune that she inherited from her father. Yes, I felt betrayed and hurt that my childhood was painted with her firm NOS. This one was brought to my attention during an exercise in a workshop put on by a good friend.

These and many more obscure beliefs have hung around for far longer than they were welcome. It’s taken me years to be aware of them enough to change their effect on my life. If nothing else, I hope that this candid recollection has reminded you to check up on any old beliefs that might not be serving you. We all likely have them.