I don’t think any of us could honestly say that we have never experienced a troubled relationship. For some, the time spent worrying about how to fix things can be consuming and add to emotional stress. I find it helpful to take a step back and really observe what’s going on with myself first. Many times I have imagined much of the relationship issues because of something completely unrelated that I’m feeling. When you both focus on self-discovery, things can begin to change rapidly. The key is to understand that we are all different and don’t experience life the same way. Here are some tips to help you heal a troubled relationship.
Know the Facts
Whatever the situation is you can have a better understanding of it by listening to yourself and your partner. Making assumptions, accusations, and lashing out because you’re emotionally compromised is never a good place to start. Make sure you have your facts straight and discuss them with as much composure as possible. This applies to more difficult things like cheating, too. You might have discovered through private investigations that your partner has been unfaithful, but it doesn’t mean you should automatically do and say things you will regret. Be your best self and treat your partner with the gentleness and respect you desire.
Whatever the problem is, it’s important that you face it together. Being honest with yourself and your partner is the number one thing that will help to heal a troubled relationship at the roots.
Whenever you’re dealing with the hearts, desires, and dreams of two people, it’s important that you understand where you stand together. Perhaps things have changed and you don’t share the same dreams and goals. It’s necessary to talk through these relationship changes so you can renegotiate or make appropriate adjustments. I know that conflict resolution starts with communication and the willingness to see things from your partner’s perspective. Setting even small goals together helps to reestablish a foundation of the commitment you made to one another. It means you are willing to work together for a better outcome.
One of the ways to prevent a relationship from breaking down in the first place is making choices together. This includes taking time to share concerns, dreams, goals, and anything that seems important. If you can do this, rather than simply blaming one another for anything that goes wrong, you will both feel more listened to and respected. Paying attention to details helps us to see who we are as individuals and as partners.
Transform the Toxic
Sometimes things are just so toxic that there is no hope in sight. And, yes, it is a possibility that the relationship isn’t repairable. This is something you have to decide for yourself and as a couple. Of course, if you are ever in danger or being abused in any way, I highly recommend getting help and removing yourself from the situation as soon as possible. So, now that I got that out of the way…if the problems are ones that can be transformed with time and attention, give the relationship a chance to find new ground. If you love each other, there is hope.
Do also consider that not everything is as it seems. Problems can arise from toxic spiritual energy as well as past trauma and childhood experiences. Keep in mind that not everyone has had a loving, happy family or childhood. Trauma can stay with you for a lifetime if it’s not dealt with properly. In order to transform toxicity, you might need to address some events from your past. Your partner might benefit from doing the same.
Having a troubled relationship is never an easy thing to experience. It can affect every area of your life and become all-consuming. That’s why it’s important to face the issues together to discover the weaknesses as well as the strengths. Together, you can transform your relationship and yourselves as human beings. After all, I believe that we are in relationships to become better people and discover what love truly means.