Today’s topic is one that affects every person on this planet: discouragement and frustration. In a quest to understand why we experience these negative emotions, I discovered three things: 1) We must accept that it’s normal to feel bad when things don’t go well (a prerequisite for being born a female). 2) It’s important to know what causes these feelings (your child got an F, the cat peed on your new leather purse, or the traffic on your blog sucks; just a few examples I thought worthy to mention). 3) We must overcome them for mental, emotional, and spiritual health (no, the Debby Downer Club is not for you).
The Nature of a Woman
Women, especially, experience these troubling emotions when they see the ones they love hurting or in trouble. Our natural instinct to nurture and protect can be overwhelming; we are left wondering why no one sees our undying effort to make things better – can’t they just stop screwing up already? And, when we can’t change things quickly enough, it puts us into a heightened sense of frustration; I believe this is called motherhood or PMS.
Additionally, our own aspirations (finishing the book you started in 2007, finally getting the house decorated the way you want it, eating dinner while it’s still hot) may be put on a back burner in order to attend to the needs of others. Both circumstances bring a sense of self-doubt and create a gully between us and our desires. Did anyone see the bridge?
The normalcy of discouragement doesn’t mean that you should allow it to reserve the presidential suite, stretch out on the Egyptian cotton, and order room service. When you feel it coming on, just put out the “No Vacancy” sign. In other words, deal with it up front; don’t wait for negativity to grow roots.
Consider this, as well: There could be a destructive pattern of self-sabotage that needs to be addressed before you can move on (this was one of my issues). When I realized that I kept doing the same really stupid things and reacting in the same really stupid way, I could then avoid the tendency for insane repetition and move forward.
“The most essential factor is persistence – the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.” ˜James Whitcomb Riley
The nature of these negative emotions is that of a roller coaster. You find yourself experiencing them sometimes (the dips); just as you find yourself overcoming (the hills). When we know that they are temporary, we can find our way to the next hill sooner and with greater momentum. Remember, every situation will pass at some point.
Key Points to Overcoming
• Recognize the emotions (Patterns?) • Realize they are temporary • Change what you can and let the rest go • Seek out encouraging people • Focus on past victories • Make the appropriate changes
Keeping a positive outlook will bring you your heart’s desire more quickly than dwelling on your disappointments. Speak out what you want to happen and visualize yourself enjoying the victory. This is powerful. Overcoming discouragement and frustration is just another facet of character building. Ultimately, we become better women, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, and friends when we allow ourselves to gracefully pass over the gully. The other side is there waiting, and it’s glorious!
Help Someone Else
Please share a story about how you overcame a discouraging or frustrating situation. We truly are encouraged by the victories of others. Be well-be beautiful!
Photo by Borufka