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Handling Unplanned Pregnancy During The Dating Period

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You get the news: you are pregnant after dating someone for a month? It can happen, and it does, more than you probably know. “How did this happen,” you painfully wonder. Well, obviously you took a chance and had sex without protection. Regardless of the reason behind your passion misstep, you need to make some decisions and make them fast. The question: how do you handle this situation with the guy you hardly know? Here is a quick overview of what you need to consider.

Telling the Father

Your first step should be to tell the father. Even if you don’t know him that well, he does have the right to know. This doesn’t mean that it’s his decision whether or not you stay pregnant. You shouldn’t let him pressure you into making this decision. Ultimately, his opinion should be taken into consideration, but you should definitely get the final say. Particularly, if the father is someone whom you have either dated a few times or not really dated at all.

There is no way of knowing what type of reaction you’re going to get from the father. You might find that he is thrilled. Or he could deny being the father. You may also find that he doesn’t want anything to do with you or the situation. Don’t build him up to be a potentially great father when, the truth is, he may not want to be a father at all.

Who’s the Daddy

It’s possible that you don’t actually know who the father is. On average, women in the dating world can have as many as seven sexual partners at the same time.  You might be able to work out the calendar math, but if you had several partners during that time, it could get a tad complicated. This situation has been made light of in several romantic comedies. But, it’s not quite as amusing in real life. 

An unplanned pregnancy can be devastating to any woman in a relationship, let alone if she doesn’t have a commitment from the father. To make sure you get the right guy, have a paternity test. These are 99 percent accurate, but you will need DNA of the potential candidates. So, if it was a one night stand, this could be difficult.

Don’t Kick the Relationship Into High Gear

This isn’t the Victorian times or even the 70s. Pregnancy does not automatically mean you need to get married and live as a family. There are a lot of single parents in the world who manage to raise their children beautifully. That said, you may not want to end the relationship completely. All I’m saying is to take it easy and see what happens with the guy before you promise him the world.

If he proposes, and you’ve only known him a couple of weeks, you might want to take some time to think it over. You might be tempted to say yes because it gives a sense of security. But a marriage built on this type of commitment may not last. It’s better to continue dating and see where things lead. You might find that you weren’t a match after all, and that’s okay. The father can still be part of the child’s life if he wants to be. Or, if he doesn’t, you can start fresh.

Should You Still Date?

You can still date if you’re pregnant, lots of women do it. There is absolutely nothing to stop you from dating in the beginning. However, you might have a little trouble finding potential dates after you start showing.  If you find someone you really like, you should tell them as soon as possible, though.

This age we live in now is different than the bygone years.  The nuclear family went extinct a long time ago. Society is generally more accepting of different types of relationships and family models. A lot of men want to start a family and are not tied down to the idea of being the biological father. 

Don’t Lose Your Confidence

Finally, it’s important that you feel happy with who you are during this time.  Your body does go through changes as you pass those nine months. You are still sexy, energetic, beautiful, and, most importantly, valuable. Pregnancy is one the most precious times for a woman and should be enjoyed to the fullest. Find a way to continue being who you, whether you’re still searching for a life partner or not. Ultimately, people are more attracted to confidence, no matter where you are in life. Take this time to make some life plans that will serve you and your new baby. 

About Madeline

Madeline is a mid-west mom of three who spends most of her time refilling ice trays and changing toilet paper...just kidding. She is a high school guidance counselor, all around funny gal, and a writer. Her first book, Be Happy Already!", is in the works.

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