Tag Archives: Foundation
Though you could take this question in a plethora of directions, I meant it in general. Personal peace is basically defined as not having any metal stress and anxiety about your circumstances. I can hear you all mumbling, “That’s impossible,” and “Maybe if I took enough drugs.” Don’t worry; I”m not saying there is something wrong with you if you do not have peace. Just introspect with me for just a moment. Think about the things that interrupt your inner joy and harmony; can you identify them? If you can, you might be able to lesson them or do away with them altogether.
The Obvious
Bills, bills, and more bills…teenagers, problems on the job, health issues, and, yes, there are a whole lot more things that can wreak havoc on your mental state. I’m no stranger to stress and anxiety either. There is a secret I want to share with you. I learned this exercise about 2 years ago when I was working on healing from terrible chronic headaches. Bill Harris, founder of Center Pointe Research Institute, stated in his book, Thresholds of the Mind, that he was able to change his perspective of negative events through brain entrainment (a program where which the subject listens to a series of tones, music, and voice over to stimulate the brain to create new and heal damaged neural pathways, to promote self-awareness through the release of old, negative emotions, and to develop a deep meditative state that is difficult to reach for most people).
Harris claimed that after yearsof research and development, he created a product that could help people become more of who they are supposed to be, all while releasing inner peace and a drive to accomplish their dreams. Wow! That’s quite a goal! Well, I have personally experienced the Holosync program and agree that there is something to it. I used to be extremely sensitive to “bad things” that happened. Now, I have more of an ability to see them no differently than I do “good things”. After I noticed the change in my attitude, it was then that I understood Mr. Harris’s statement about changing his perspective. It really helps to keep a steady flow of peace in my life. Sorry about that sidetrack. I just thought that it might be helpful to know that you can change your mind…literally.
The Not So Obvious
Now this is the main reason I mentioned the whole brain entrainment thing. There are actually events, emotions, and traumas that are recorded in your deep sub-conscious of which you may not even be aware. These are the killers of peace. They cause your mind to loop the most dreadful mantra of negative self-talk. It sounds something like this: “You will never be happy because you are not pretty,” or “You’ll always be depressed because it runs in your family,” or “Until you get a man, you’ll be lonely.” Can you see how these statements could keep you glued to your current state and circumstances? After all, we believe and trust ourselves, don’t we? Well, I found out that I shouldn’t trust everything that tricked down from my mind or out of my mouth.
I wasn’t at peace when I kept buying tickets to the destructive mental movie in my head. It had to stop if I ever wanted to be happy and at peace. Just to let you know, I’m not completely there yet. I have miles to go before I reach the nirvana that I hope for. We all have to take one day at a time; that means pressing through what comes our way (good or bad).
“I simply can’t build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery and death … I think peace and tranquillity will return again.”
˜Anne Frank
Manifest Peace
One last thing, the more you engage your mind in positive visualization, the more you will combat the garbage that is stored upstairs in your brain. I have taken this practice to a new level recently with longer sessions of prayer and meditation. I’ve tapped into a greater understanding of who I am and where I’ m going. There is a more powerful plan for our lives than we can even imagine. But you can give it a try.
I appreciate all of you so much and want to thank you for following WLL. Let me know if Introspective Sunday is helping you. I’d love to hear your input. Be well-be beautiful.
***Because we are Amazon Associates, if you choose to purchase the book from our link, we will receive a small revenue. Thank you for supporting Women’s Life Link.
Photo by Grotesque Glitch
Usually on Sunday mornings a distinct question pops into my head that I almost always use for my post; today was no exception. “Are you like your mother?” was bold and loud in my mind as I opened my eyes. For some of you that inquiry might provoke anger or at least a nonchalant eye roll. A few of you might be beaming with pride to know that, yes, you are just like your mother. But, for most, you are like me, knowing that you have carried on some of mom’s negative traits as well as some good ones.
Understanding Who You Are
Despite the fact that no matter how hard we try to avoid our mother’s negative habits and quirky traits, often times we inherit them anyway. That’s right, you can kick and scream all you want, but you will have to deal with the cultural legacy that is passed down in every family. However, having said that, let me make this clear; just because your mother did or said certain things doesn’t mean that you are locked into the same behavior. You might have guessed that I’m speaking of mom’s bad points here and not the ones that you are glad you have mastered.
Here’s an example that I live with every day. My mother was an alcoholic and a smoker from the time she was about 17 until the day she found out she had cancer at 58. That’s a long time. I watched her be unhealthy my whole young life. And, yes, when I got at an age where I felt I was grown up enough, I started drinking and smoking. After all, my mom did it; I deserved the same experience. I justified my behavior.
Even though I was in the throws of teen rebellion and indulgence, I kept my self guarded from becoming addicted to alcohol and drugs. This is where the choices come in. I chose to resist the thing that tore my mother’s life (and some of mine) apart. Today, I know more about how an adult child of an alcoholic can be affected by the parent’s addiction. I understand how her condition molded parts of my character. It is something that I can never remove from my mind or deeper being. So, I am careful with alcohol as not to over indulge or think of it as an answer to my problems.
Mom’s Legacy of Good
No one is all good or all bad. My mother instilled a lot of good in me along with the dysfunction. She gave me so many great things that have helped 
shape me as a woman and mother. I’m like her in the fact that I love to discover new ideas and investigate the unknown. My mom actually wanted to be an archaeologist but married at 19 instead. Like her, I’m fascinated with the details of scientific discovery.
I have also always kept open communication with my children; she taught me how to do that by being there for me. She was a wonderful support to me as a young mother. And when it’s time for me to be a grandmother, I will be a great one because of her. My kids remember her with love and joy- their Nannie. So, you can see that I am like my mom in some ways and have chosen to be different in others. This question also makes me see how my ways are being passed along to my daughters – the legacy.
I want you to think about how you are like your mother and how her ways may have shaped your ideals and dysfunctions as an adult. Also, be aware of how your daughters watch you and learn to mimic your character. It will keep you on your toes! Please share your thoughts with us. Be well-be beautiful.
***If you are an adult child of an alcoholic, I highly recommend that you read the book I’ve linked to this post. It was crucial to my own self-growth and healing. Because I am an Amazon associate, I will receive a small revenue for your purchase. Thank you.
Photo 1 by Beautiful Flower 66; photo 2 by Dkl78594
What is Hope and Why Do We Have It?
There is record of the word hope in English, though in varying form, dating back to before the twelfth century and even earlier in Hebrew. I have a good feeling that even before there was a word, there was an action- a longing, an expectation, an anticipation. It’s like the human equivalent of an animal’s instinct- a built in feature. Not to say that animals don’t hope and humans don’t have instinct. It could be that both of these things are interchangeable and innate with all life. We need hope to live, thrive, and find our purpose. That is why I am fortunate to have it.
A Woman’s Hope Is Powerful
Remember when you were waiting on that special guy to pop the question or expecting your first child? Can you recall dreaming or even visualizing these important events when you were a teen or even a young girl? Through hope we actually begin to form our lives from the beginning. We form ideas about what we want to do, who we want to be, what kind of marriage, children, and career we want. And, though, every whim that we have along the way doesn’t come to pass (thank God), we generally have a pretty good outline of our futures by the time we are a young adult. Hope moves women to make things better in their homes and in all the businesses and organizations in which she works. It’s powerful.
What Happens If We Don’t Have It?
Because of the immense power that hope has, if a person loses it, that is when despair enters. With nothing to look forward to and no way of changing things, women (humans) get introvert and depressed. This is a dangerous place to be. I’ve been there myself. Even having faith in God, 
I have found myself in despair and loneliness. The lack of hope is a state of mind that manifests in actions; just as having it manifests in actions. Usually, the loss of hope is temporary. However, occasionally, it can be a chronic condition that doesn’t end well. I believe this is why an individual gets to a place where they can take their own life.
How Do I Get It and Keep It?
First of all, you have to understand that hope is something that is bigger than us. It’s a product of spirit and soul. For me, trusting that I am a part of something greater than myself; that I am a child of God; that I can get intuitive answers to my questions are all huge reasons that I have general hope.
Everyday hope is somewhat different. You hope that your children don’t get the flu; you hope that you get the promotion; you hope that you have enough money to pay your bills. This is where the action comes in. We tend to have more hope in the things that we’ve acted on positively. For example, you feed your kids healthful foods, teach them hygiene, and give them what they need; the fact that you’ve done these “actions” provides a substance that supports hope. Doing the opposite negative things like letting them live on sugar and fat, not teaching appropriate cleanliness, and not giving them a clean environment in which to live would not give you the same substantial reason to expect a good outcome.
In conclusion, we can say that hope is a necessary part of our lives as women, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, and mentors. We must learn to draw on the strength of a greater power; we must act on our expectations; and we must not give up hope when things don’t happen the way we think they should. What are you hoping for? Be well-be beautiful.
Photo 1 by Whitebook; photo 2 by Ingrid-seven
If you have allergies than you know what it’s like to have perpetually swollen and stuffed-up sinuses. It’s not pleasant; you can’t breathe; and you look (bloodshot eyes, red nose, blotchy skin) and sound (gravelly voice, lack of brain activity) like you just got up when actually you’re well into your day. So, Kellie, what do chronic allergy symptoms have to do with spiritual growth? Glad you asked.
Stuck, Stagnant, and Spiritually Dead
It dawned on me today that when we are not spiritually and emotionally sound, we can’t be our best – the women that we are meant to be. You know, like when your allergies are acting up; you don’t put your best foot forward because you’re too busy blowing your nose and trying to breathe – nothing feels right. This is the equivalent of being emotionally stuck in second gear; you can’t seem to get where you want to go at the speed you need to get there.
Flushing Out the Garbage
After using my Neti Pot the other day, I realized how much better I felt – how much clearer not only my sinuses were but my mind as well. The flushing of my nasal cavity brought clarity and opened me up for the activities that I’d been avoiding (housework, playing with my children, exercise). With the pressure gone I could again participate in the things that usually brought pain otherwise.
Then I started thinking about what events bring emotional clarity – the kind of clarity that brings freedom. My analytical mind came to the conclusion that when we are spiritually grounded, we are more open to experiencing emotions, engaging in healthy relationships, and journeying toward wholeness – the emotional “Neti Pot”. Having a grasp of who you are as a living, spiritual being cleanses you of the negative hindrances that can hold you back as a woman.
Your Deeper Self
I’m not talking about getting “religion” or joining a church; I’m simply suggesting that you become aware of a deeper part of yourself that may be stagnant and “stuffed-up”. Spiritual awareness and enlightenment takes time and patience. And though you may have already experienced a spiritual event that changed your life, you owe it to yourself to go further; ask questions; seek the answers until you get them; then ask some more. God, the universe, and your fellow humans will answer; they will join in your quest for peace, joy, and life fulfillment. Be spiritually and emotionally well- find your “Neti Pot”.
Photos by Perception-Obscure and Pazukki
The Evaluation
How many of us have gazed into the mirror only to see ourselves at an earlier age, an age in which circumstances have left us in a drama of life that we were forever trying to forget; one that we thought we had buried, and yet time has brought forth the resurfacing of misdirected and scattered emotions – often those that have wounded and left us in a state of despair? Why is it we would choose to carry the burden of unpleasant memories rather than allowing them to be released with love and forgiveness, or at least understanding?
For most of us this is certainly an unconscious decision, for who of us would welcome or even permit disruption of this magnitude just to test our endurance? How and why do these wounds and emotions surface?
The Science Behind Emotions
Old research suggests that the seat of emotions stem from the heart, yet more recently the heart has become figurative. Attention is now directed to the right side of the brain; this division between the right and left side of the brain has taken on a new meaning. The left side has been denoted as analytical (the thinking, logical and conscious side), whereas the right side is the more creative (emotional, intuitive and where the sub-conscious lies).
It is a known fact that between birth and the first five to seven years of our life are the most critical. This is when we establish our interactive patterns with others or what we call our “scripts”. These scripts have set the stage in our lives as to how we will react to a given situation. We are repeatedly put to the test as to what positive or negative emotions we have adopted and to what programming we have chosen to accept on a subconscious level only to experience the scenario on a more open and accountable conscious level.
I’m Lost – Have You Seen Me?
The trauma that is buried often finds its way to the surface as an outward expression of negativity because our complex emotions have not been defined nor have they been liberated from our collective thoughts; we are bound to them with no understanding. As we interact with others our perception of what is right or wrong becomes our judgment of every action or re-action in our environment and we act accordingly. Sadly, what is often lost to us is the understanding of the true sense of our self, that which lies deep within or we might say the “Secret Person of the Heart”. Although this is who we truly are, the complexity of our being rarely allows for the unveiling of our protective self.
It’s All an Act
Many have experienced much hurt and pain throughout their lives and have kept all this pain buried. What is projected outwardly is only the personality. Very seldom do any of us walk up to another and say, “I am afraid; I have been hurt; please love me; show me compassion and acceptance; I have been wounded and need your love desperately.” Instead, we hide behind our fears, and if the personality is to an extreme it is often reflecting the opposite of the “secret” person.
When we come upon someone who is hateful, boisterous, and very aggressive we can usually assume that the person deep within is quite the opposite and is experiencing fear, hurt, and carrying more pain than we can imagine. We all have four basic needs that we’re constantly striving for: acceptance, attention, approval, and affection. We want someone to be close to, someone to confide in, someone to reveal ourselves to without the fear of being hurt — someone who will not shut the door on us.
The Three Ways to Interact
With different relationships and complexities among individuals, our inter-personalities will allow us to interact with others in three different ways. We can either move against someone (aggressive), with someone (assertive), or away from someone (passive). Now when two aggressive people come together, often the police will have to come and settle the matter if it gets out of hand; but if it’s an aggressive and passive relationship or encounter than you have one very boisterous and the other listening and moving out of their way constantly. Two very passive people make for a quiet time, they are normally content with just sitting there enjoying the moment.
So then we come to the question, “what is assertiveness”? This is where you move ‘with someone’. If another would ask you to do something for them, you may be in a position to do so, but at the same time, if you can’t accommodate their request you are able to decline with love, and it would sound somewhat like this: “I can not make myself available to do what you are asking of me, but I want you to know that I love you very much”.
Moving with someone is always a good place to be. Relationships grow from here and are very loving. When we lash out aggressively it feels as if we are against those around us or when we say nothing then we hold resentment within us, which eventually turns into anger. Saying our truth and revealing our heart permits us to honor ourselves and others around us.
True Emotional Freedom
By letting go of blame and judgment, force and control, forgiving the past, accepting responsibility and accountability for self, loving everyone including ourselves without putting conditions on that love, then we will gain balance, harmony and order in our lives; we will experience love to the highest degree. Our fear will dissipate, for love and fear are mutually exclusive. They cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Where there is love, fear cannot enter. When we begin to resonate with this, we can be sure without a doubt that we have finally found ‘our peace’.
***This is dedicated to the child within each and everyone of us. And with the most unconditional love and acceptance to my precious children, Tiffany and Brad Hawkins, whom I will forever be walking behind with admiration. May we always find our way together in this lifetime. I love you!
Dr. Terri Hawkins-Fox is a physician of Naturopathy and holds a PhD in Nutritional Science. Currently she owns and operates the Indianapolis wellness center Natural Rejuvenation. For more information on the health care services provided by Dr. Hawkins-Fox, please contact her for consultation and appointments.
The Whole Picture
Have you ever noticed a beautiful woman whose face glows as someone much younger? Then you look at her neck and hands…not so much glowing going on there. The truth is these two areas, among others, will give away your true age faster than your taste in music! We have all been bombarded by sunscreen ads and warnings about not protecting our faces from the sun’s damaging rays. Well, guess what? Our necks, tops of our shoulders, chests, and our hands are absorbing those same destructive rays. My best advice for this problem is this, do the same skin care regimen for your neck, chest, shoulders, and hands that you do for your face. That’s right, everything! Those fancy crèmes and serums are just as effective on other body parts.
It’s Possible to Reverse the Damage
While enjoying the great outdoors several years ago, I spent too much time out in the sun, and I burnt my ears, of all places. The reason was simple; I didn’t apply any sunscreen to them. Because of the pain and discomfort of the burn, I decided to give my ears some TLC. After treating my red, rough ears with my skin care products in the weeks following the burn, I realized that they were actually looking much better. The extra attention I gave my ears reversed the damage that the overexposure caused. It dawned on me to do the same thing for other over-exposed areas.
There are products made to care for everything but your face, but facial care lines are more concentrated with age-fighting ingredients than your typical lotions. Yes, you will pay more for the good stuff; however, it’s well worth it. I am constantly asked, “What are you doing to have such young looking skin?” At age 42, I’m a walking testimony of how taking care of your skin can pay off, (I still get carded. It’s really funny to see people’s reactions when I tell them I have a 24-year-old).
Start Skin Care Young
I have used full skin care lines (cleanser, toner, lotion, night cream, etc.) since I was about 17. My four older daughters at ages 24, 22, 16, and 13 are following in my footsteps with their own daily beauty regimens. Stressing the importance of consistency, I taught them young to care for their beautiful faces with good products. Some of the best that we have used are Mary Kay, Arbonne, Aveda, Olay Regenerist, Origins, L’Oreal, and Avon. These days you’ll find mostly Aveda products on my bathroom sink, as they are more natural at their base and seem to agree with my older skin.
Skin Care Musts
Regardless of what products you use, it’s a must to follow some basic strategies for younger looking skin.
- Drink plenty of pure water (8-10 glasses a day).
- Limit your time in the sun especially during mid-day when its rays are more damaging.
- Limit your use of tanning beds. It’s so easy to keep going 2-3 times a week because it doesn’t take much time and it’s so accessible. Be aware of how your skin is reacting to the exposure, not just, how brown it’s getting. If you notice a wrinkling at your elbows and knees, deeper sleep lines in the morning, and an overall dry feeling, you probably should cut down on your visits to the tanning salon.
- Always use a foundation that has SPF 15 in it. Most bases have the sunscreen added, but if not, use a lotion that is specifically for your face.
- Don’t forget to put the sunscreen on your ears, shoulders, and chest area if those areas are exposed.
- Limit alcohol and caffeine intake especially when you know you will be in the sun for an extended time.
- Reduce stress as much as possible. Try yoga, walking, meditation, or anything that gets you to a place of peace.
- Exfoliation is a key to aiding skin’s regeneration. Use a mask 1-2 times per week and a daily exfoliation product like Aveda’s Daily Exfoliant.
- Be kind to your skin, no pulling, popping, stretching, and poking. (A facial massage is good, though).
- Take supplements that have good anti-oxidant properties like the Xocai healthy chocolate drink. Omega fatty acids, B, C, and A vitamins are also essential for great skin. The best ways to get these needed sups are through our food; unfortunately, we don’t always eat what we should. Just make better choices.