Marriage is most often seen as the natural destination of your romantic relationship journey. Love-struck couples have been doing this for centuries, however, more and more couples are decidedly doing things differently. This trend certainly raises the debate between going a traditional relationship route or opting for other types of commitment like living together, common law marriage, polyamory, and simply just being together. So, we ask is marriage the only way to show your true commitment to a partner? Today, let’s look at a few points that may shed some positive light on not getting married.
Marriage is an Expectation Constructed by Society
Marriage, or the idea of it, surfaced around 2300 BC, according to historical records. Though it has certainly taken a long and winding road to modern times, marriage still holds the basic meaning to bond two people together by law. There are many reasons that marriage was introduced into society, including money, power, an obligation to family, and producing a viable heir. All of these reasons had little to do with love or personal choice. Today, in our modern culture, however, we see the majority of marriages happen because of love or religious reasons.
Unfortunately, the law in many countries does not allow the same financial benefits or security for unmarried couples that they do for those who take their vows. This alone has pressured many couples into marrying even if they don’t believe in it or are emotionally ready.
On more of an emotional level, marriage shouldn’t be an expectation to prove your commitment to your partner. So, if you find yourself pushing to see that ring on your finger, think about why it’s so important. It’s not uncommon for women to get starry-eyed about a fairytale wedding, even if they are not emotionally or otherwise ready to enter into that kind of commitment. Remember, being with someone because you love him or her does not have to be defined by a piece of paper to be real.
Marriage Is Often a Mistake
We’ve all heard the divorce stats that show just how commonly that marriage can end. They are, at least, indicative of the fact that there are a whole lot of couples that felt their marriage was not for life as they had hoped. The question of “why” is piercing and leaves couples wondering if they should get married and what to do instead.
Well, let’s look at what often happens. Society, family, religious organizations can put pressure on a couple to get married, so they rush into it, only to find that their relationship wasn’t ready for the demands of marriage and a family. Suddenly, both parties are scrambling to find a divorce lawyer and stressing over how to divide up their property. You have to wonder if getting married was the best idea when seemingly good relationships go bad only after marriage comes into the picture.
If you’re with someone for a long period, and you start losing interest, marriage tends to become a barrier to happiness if ending the relationship is the only option. Being a married couple means you technically have a legal obligation to one another and children if you have them. For many women, splitting up their family is too much to bear, so they stay in an unhappy marriage.
Don’t let this convince you that marriage is awful and you should never get married. There are just as many positives for getting married as there are against it. By all means, if you and your partner are ready to take the plunge, go for it!
Weigh the Pros and Cons
Though you may love someone with all your heart, take time to understand exactly what getting married means. This includes considering finances, family, time obligations, career, goals, dreams, potential problems, and basic compatibility. All of these things may not come up in conversation as you are hopelessly in love and focused on just enjoying each other. That’s why it’s important to take a step back when things get serious to really understand where things are heading.
Make a decision together on a timeline for your relationship that meets the needs of you both. Remember, you are in charge of your life and don’t need to feel pressured to do anything where your relationship and future are concerned.