Boundaries. This one topic has confused and annoyed more people than you can throw a stick at (including yours truly)! Ask ten people on the street and they will all give you a different version of what a healthy boundary looks like and when it should be set. But, at the end of the day, we want some clarity (or maybe it’s just me?). What is this boundary stuff all about? What is the truth about boundaries?
If you’ve ever had the opportunity to watch a balanced herd of horses (and I highly recommend it!) than you’ve witnessed some of the best boundary setters walking this earth. Horses have countless numbers of no that they use in any given situation. It might be a “no, that is my pile of food” ear pin or a “No, you cannot use me as scratching post!” leg cocked or even a “HELL NO, that is positively unacceptable!” donkey kick kind of no. They find the right one for the occasion and if necessary up the intensity until the desired response is achieved. Then, they go back to grazing. You see, horses have no issue with conflict. No guilt about disappointing their herd mate. No shame around not being “perfect”. They need something to happen and then ask for it. Bam.