The end of a relationship is one of the most difficult things that anyone can go through, especially if there are deep ties from a long marriage. Even if the decision to divorce is mutual and the relations are still amicable, it is a huge change for both parties. In many cases, one or both people feel anger, sadness, grief, fear, and frustration. Furthermore, there could be children, finances, and property to divide and care for. Though there will be inevitable change and even pain, there are some things to help navigate divorce healthfully.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
First of all, allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. It’s OK to be sad even if you’re the one who asked for a divorce. Your life is about to change in a big way. A traumatic event of this kind deserves your attention and time to heal. A divorce is a little like a small death: the life you hoped for and dreamed of is no longer there. Give yourself time to work through your feelings and loss before you start making future plans. In other words, don’t make any important life decisions while you are emotionally compromised.
Make Sure You’re Legally Protected
No matter how much your former spouse has promised to care of you and the kids, it’s important for you to have legal support. Attorneys, such as JWB Family Law specialize in divorce and can advise you before you make any agreements with your spouse. Each situation and state will have varying laws and rules for divorce. Know how to protect yourself, your kids, and your financial future.
Keep the Kids out of It
As much as a divorce may hurt, it’s crucial that you keep your kids out of it as much as you can. You’re divorcing your partner: they aren’t divorcing their parent. If you have the children, unless there is some legal or safety reason to keep them apart, allow their relationship to continue with your spouse as usual. Never say bad things about your spouse or discuss details about your pain with them. Keep answers to their questions about it simple and to the point. Children can’t understand adult topics completely and could become confused and burdened.
Ask for Help
When something big like a divorce happens, a lot of people say things like “Let me know if I can help.” It’s tempting to smile and decline and soldier on, but why not take them up on it? Ask them if they’re available to do things like picking up your kids from school when you’re busy or even babysitting. Childcare is a lot harder as a single parent, so allow family and friends to help you.
Do Something for Yourself
A divorce may be the end of a season of your life, but it’s also the start of a new one. When you are ready to, do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Things like going to the spa, getting a makeover, or even shopping for a new outfit can help you refocus on yourself. Take up that hobby that you’ve always wanted to, take a pottery class, join a book club, watch TV shows that your ex always hated. It’s time for you to rediscover who you are as a single woman.