This post was contributed and may contain affiliate links. I’ve never met a woman who didn’t need help from other people from time to time. That help often comes in the form of advice from the bestie or mom. The problem with taking advice all the time is that your best interest might not be winning out in the end. Opinions can be tainted with the personality and desires of the people giving them. It’s important to make sure that you serve your needs and create happiness with the decisions you make. Here are 3 major things to consider when getting advice.
Getting Advice Consideration #1: Why Do You Need Advice?
It’s important to be clear about why you’re seeking advice from someone else. Do you simply need some encouragement or praise? That, of course, isn’t really advice. Many people seek advice because they want to share their troubles with someone else. This is seen frequently on social media platforms. Not always, but this can be victim-mentality in action. Receiving sympathy from others on this scale feeds the addiction to that type of attention. This form of attention-seeking is not likely to yield quality advice.
You should think about the value that real advice actually has. Emotional and social support is one of the biggest motivating factors in seeking advice. Getting clarification about certain perspectives is another, and perhaps one of the most important. Sharing and listening to advice can also help strengthen a relationship, which can be vital in troubling times.
Getting Advice Consideration #2: Whom Should You Turn To?
Of course, if you want to get quality advice, it matters with whom you speak about the problem at hand. The issue here is that there are people who are willing to listen to your troubles but may not have your best interest at heart. They may want to hear all about your drama so they can have something to talk about with others. They may also be looking to impart advice to you because it makes them seem smarter or wiser than they actually are. Your dilemma becomes an excuse to flex their armchair-philosophic or pseudo-inspirational muscles! Steer clear of these types of people!
While a lot of young women may not want to hear this, the fact is that advice is usually best sought either from professionals or people who are older and more experienced. This isn’t to say that you won’t get dud advice from your grandpa, or that you can’t get great insight from a teenager. (Trust me, both are very much possible!) But speaking to someone who has been through many challenges herself usually yields worthwhile advice. And, from a professional standpoint, doctors, counselors, psychics, psychiatrists, teachers, and even work managers are all worth considering. Though I do use the Internet cautiously for advice, you can find quality information and advice online. On a lighter note, here’s an example of good advice from Wikimedia…lol.
Getting Advice Consideration #3: What Is Good Advice?
Tips to identify bad advice:
- If the advice isn’t actionable, or it’s too vague, it’s not going to be very helpful.
- You may even want to Google the advice you’ve been given to see how it’s worked for others.
- Good advice is simple and direct.
- Good advice encompasses the experiences of others – and it’s usually imparted by people who understand that it might not work for everyone. At the end of the day, no-one can give advice based purely on their own experience. Everyone deals with things in different ways and initiates different outcomes for the same actions.
- Whether your problem is related to your career, relationship, or anything else, you need to completely trust those in which you confide.