We think we know how to cope with a breakup because of the examples playing out in our pop culture. However, a real breakup isn’t the same as a fictional one on television. Some people might feel as though something is wrong with them if they don’t instantly get over their lost partner. They may even blame themselves or others, thinking this will ease their pain. The truth is, there is no set of rules or a system to get over a breakup.
Feelings of nostalgia are extremely powerful because of the emotional connection we have to our former loved one. Women, especially, find this particularly hard to get through. However, in order to move forward, it’s necessary to push through the sensitive time. Things do change with time and effort and healing does come. Here are a few things you can do to help ease the breakup blues.
Get Over a Breakup #1: Cleanse Your Space
Your former partner’s things left lying around your home or car can trigger bouts of melancholy and regret. Though objects such as photos, clothing, and jewelry may elicit happy memories for a short period, you might find yourself hurting more later. Most things will remind you of your ex-relationship in the beginning. Unfortunately, you can’t get rid of everything. After all, you need your furniture, car, dishes, pets, etc.
Get Over a Breakup #2 Remove Personal Sentiments
If you’re wearing anything that your ex gave you, such as a bracelet, ring or even shoes, do away with them. It may not be permanently, but for the time being. Put those things away somewhere, out of sight and out of mind. Many people do things they regret later in a relationship like branding themselves with someone’s name. Having a permanent mark symbolizing your relationship can be devastating. If this has happened, here is some information about how to remove a tattoo.
Get Over a Breakup #3: Stay Busy
Time does heal most wounds, but don’t allow the passage of time to dictate when you should start feeling better. Get busy by taking up a new hobby or doing that thing you’ve always wanted to do but have been putting off. Do a garden project or start a blog. Go out with friends and engage in the world to get your mind off the breakup. Get active by joining a gym or fitness class. All of these activities provide feel-good chemicals that tell us that things are going to be OK.
Get Over a Breakup #4 Counseling, Coaching, Support Group
During highly charged emotional times, it’s important to get the support you need. Though you might find comfort in your friends and family, you might need some professional help in bad cases. Talking to someone that isn’t emotionally attached to you might help you look within yourself for anything you can improve. You wouldn’t want to repeat any mistakes of the past with a new relationship.
I recommend evaluating your needs and taking action by seeing a therapist or coach. These professionals can listen and give you advice about how to deal with intense emotions and depression. If you enjoy hearing stories and advice from many people, a support group might help you more.