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Getting quality alone time with your partner can be challenging, especially if you have children. Yes, we parents said goodbye to spontaneous one-on-one adventures as soon as we left the delivery room. But, even childless couples can get into a pattern of neglecting the intimacy they once knew. No matter what the reason is for the neglect in this area, there are some solutions if you are willing to make some plans and stick to them. Try these 4 things out to spice things up and find that magical alone time you long for.
Re-create your first date:
This is a simple and fun way to reconnect as a couple. Schedule a first date that will be treated as though it is actually the first time you have met. Hire a good babysitter or enlist family to watch over the children, so you don’t worry about them. And, make it a dinner date so you are guaranteed at least a couple hours of alone time without the kids.
Remember, this is your first date, so stick to topics like your favorite books and that awesome new movie you saw the day before. You wouldn’t talk about the bills, household chores, or your problems with someone you first met. Who knows, you may just learn something knew about each other. Don’t discuss work, and try not to talk much that day so you have something to talk about when you “meet for the first time”. At the end of the night, decide whether to split the bill equally or let just one of you pay, and then go back home feeling the same way you did when you first met.
Have a posh night in:
Sometimes, your budget may not stretch for a fancy dinner date out. In times like this, it’s easy to bring the dinner and movie to your house. Simply send the kids to bed early, if you can or send them to a friends house for the night. Light some candles and wear your favorite little black dress. Do whatever it takes to make the night special and like an actual date. After you’ve eaten dinner, make your favorite flavor of popcorn and watch a movie you both will enjoy. Cuddle up and enjoy the tranquility of just being in that moment as a couple. Let nothing distract you on your date night. Turn your work phone off and tell your friends and extended family you’re busy.
If the kids are at home, tell them about the night you have planned, so they’ll keep quiet if they can’t sleep. If the younger kids need some love, too, attend to them like you normally would. But, remember to get them back to sleep as quickly as you can. One thing I’ve done in the past is involve the kids in the date. When my children were old enough to cook, we let them plan the menu and decorate the table for our date. These in-home events were some of the most memorable for not only us as a couple but for our children.
Go for a day out:
Book a babysitter so your kids are well looked after for the whole day, or you could play hooky from work and do it while they are in school. Head down to the beach and get a stranger to take romantic photos of you strolling along. Head to the theme park and have fun on the crazy rides. Buy an ice cream and lick it off each other’s noses when it gets everywhere. Whatever it is that you find fun as a couple, do it and enjoy your day out together. Use it as a time to escape reality. No mentioning work, the kids or your family finances. Have fun and go wild! You deserve this time together, so make the most of it! It may just be the last time you get to be alone together for a while.
Go on vacation:
Finally, I recommend going on a family vacation. This may not seem like the best time to have fun together as a couple, but, trust me on this one. Go somewhere that offers a free babysitting service and that has plenty of kids’ clubs and activities to offer. Package holidays tend to be the best options for babysitting services. Pack your kids off to the babysitter or kids club, and head down to the club and have a wild time together. Or you could just relax by the sea or find some other adventure. Days out for couples may seem few and far between but, when you do manage to have an outing together, make sure you focus on your partner completely.
There you have it, some easy ideas for spending more time together as a couple. Enjoy your first date, have fun during your fancy night in or day out, and have a great vacation!