The Hard Stuff

Well, about a week ago, I got out of the car and noticed a butterfly on the ground. He was pretty damaged. An inch of one wing was missing. The rest of him was beautiful - a mix of colors; orange, yellow, brown and blue. He was broken, but he was still beautiful. I took a picture of him as I thought of how God had created this beautiful creature and how he could still be so lovely in his brokenness.

Grief comes in all kinds of forms, doesn’t it? It can be the grief of a broken relationship, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, even the loss of organs through a surgical procedure.

I am curious, when you got married, what did you think? Were you prepared for the road ahead? Did you talk about major life decisions? Did you both know and agree on the big things like children, money and goals? Were you even thinking about it, or did you think that once you said "I do", you would just live happily ever after?

"Resilient," he said… "A warrior," he called me… if I could only see that truth… Living with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) can be painful when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Love means everything yet nothing at all. We seem to love hard and fast yet live in constant fear of being abandoned. The heartache is caused by an ongoing yearning to find true happiness, though we may not even know what that is.

Who is an Addict? Most people define an addict as someone who is an alcoholic or drug user. The truth is, anything that eases pain can become an object of addiction. People become addicted to the absence of feeling emotion. They want pain on the outside instead of the inside, and they want to become someone they are not. It's not always easy to recognize an addict, however. They can have good jobs, good friends and look no different on the outside than anyone else.

I'ts normal to be sad and hurt at times. It's also very normal to get angry, however letting it consume you is not healthy. The hard part is knowing how much time to allow these emotions to have the stage. One thing I found that helps is a technique called Self-Soothing. You can find helpful resources here. SELF-SOOTHING is comforting, nurturing and being kind to yourself. One way to accomplish self-soothing is to comfort your five senses in the following ways:

Today is March 1, 2013 – Self Injury Awareness Day Self-injury or self-harming is when a person deliberately hurts themselves physically to deal with the emotional pain they are suffering. When it comes to self-harm, cutting is thought of as the main way people hurt themselves. But this is only one way to deal with inner pain. Another misconception is that it’s mainly teenagers that use this coping mechanism; the truth is, self-harm occurs in all age groups, both sexes and many races and backgrounds.

If you have been in any type of relationship with someone who suffers from BPD, you would tell me that it was hell and you were constantly walking on eggshells. The problem is, we BPDs are just as afraid of ourselves as you are of us. We do not like living with this person any more than you do. However, it is not our choice...not at first anyway. This is how we learned to deal with life, whether it is right or wrong. For me, everyone that I have ever loved has left me. No one wants to deal with the ‘crazy’ and honestly, most days I don’t want to either.

I have written five books on bullying in relationships in Danish before releasing “110 Ways to Detect a Bad Relationship – Before it’s too Late”. A man read my first book and wrote me that he was in shock. He had no idea how the way he had been treating/talking to his wife (who had killed herself years earlier) and various girlfriends might have affected them.

I think the problem is that I’ve never understood quite what love is. Is it having someone there for you when you need him or her? Someone who can listen when you need to vent and won’t judge you for your craziness? Someone who shares the same core values and supports you on your decisions? Seriously, do these seem like I expect too much?

I've ridden a roller-coaster my entire life, fitting in nowhere, not even in my own home. Of course, by chance when I did, I’d find some way to mess it up. This life never allowed me to like myself or believe I deserved others to like me either. I’d moved out on my own by 16 and was expelled from school just before graduation. My life displayed a pattern: abusive relationships, drug abuse, eating disorders, and other self-destructive tendencies that I never once thought of as problems. I really had no idea who I was. I simply lived my life the best way I knew how.

Photo by Mental Though you may not be a regular JS viewer, you likely know what goes on in just one episode.  Guests are outspoken, …

When I started this blog three years ago, I had a vision. I saw a place where I could speak openly about the events, traumas, joys, and successes that women live everyday. And though the collection of articles has grown...and grown over the years to become a versatile information pool for the women of the world, something is still missing.

Today, I want to bring you a special article by a Women's Life Link friend, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Dr. Bonnie is considered one of the top relationship experts in the world. Her list of accomplishments include authoring six books, speaking, coaching, and mentoring countless couples to achieve happy, fulfilling relationships.

Do you go through cycles of great emotional swings that take you from elation to the depths of despair in short periods of time? Do you wonder why you can't seem to keep things even-keeled and running smoothly? Do you wish you weren't constantly moved by your circumstances whether good or bad?