Photo by FlabnBone
Wow, so I just got home from a “headache holiday” (a week stay in the hospital.) And, go figure I can’t get a wink of sleep to save my life. I’m supposed to be resting, and, well, it’ s like 4 A.M. and I’m still tying desperately to fall asleep. I’m not sure what triggered my inability to snooze…maybe it’s the lack of lingering latex and sour body scent from the understated hospital room. Or, it could be the lack of BP checks and injections of Dilaudid and Haldol…..hmmmm, I wonder, as I type this mad little post with about 1,000 uninhibited mistakes that I’m acutely aware of. I’m not that tired…yet.
OK, so I thought I’d share what all I’ve creatively tried to aid my dilemma.
- Sit out in thunderstorm: Yes, let the mist hit you in the face. And, you have to let your face light up like a light bulb with every lightning strike…just so the neighbors can see you. Maybe they have insomnia, too.
- Massacre a watermelon: Using the word lightly here. It’s not like you have to hang it up and go all Harry-Carry on it. Just violate it the regular way. You know, with a French chef’s knife, down the middle, ripe, flesh oozing all over the counter.
- Eat the watermelon: This only is good if you actually wanted it and didn’t just feel obligated because you just cut it up into neat, little cubes.
- Sketch out how you want your next haircut to look. Oh, yeah, and add some color for fun. Seriously. The tired mind is more flexible. You might come up with a knockout do!
- Probe your 13-year-old son as to why he’s not asleep at 4 A.M..
- Make a yummy plate of nachos…that is if you didn’t scarf down the entire watermelon and still have room.
- Start a diary: This is a particular good one if your doctor has asked you to record unusual sleep patterns, pain, diet, and/or machete-like tendencies toward helpless fruit.
- See just how many people actual do snore in your house. Warning: you might one of the snorers. Hopefully, not while you’re awake.
Well, I’m going to give the snore-fest another try here. Hope you all are well and sleeping normally. If not, maybe one of these quirky remedies will work for you.