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Even When Shit And Shadows Get Scary, I’m Still In!

Feature Photo by kil1k on Deviantart.com

I lovingly and appreciatively dedicate this post to a dear mentor, teacher, goddess, and friend, Lisa Marie Rosati, Creatrix of the Goddess Lifestyle Plan. She has shown me how to embrace my whole self and empowered me to deal with the dark areas and move forward no matter what. Thank you, Lisa.

You know that feeling you get when you’re watching a scary movie and the heroin is snooping in a really creepy, dark place? Well, I always say to myself or out loud, “What the hell are you doing? Why are you even going down there? Are you insane? Admit it, you’ve done it, too! Then I realize that there wouldn’t be a story or movie unless someone does something dramatic or risks getting chopped up into little pieces.

And, if you think about it, what would our lives be if nothing ever challenged us or had potential to cause a wrinkle in the fabric of our lives? Probably pretty boring and our learning curve would be a mere speed bump. So, like that crazy, thrill-seeking woman from the horror movie, I’m in with the tough stuff, the risk, the joy of overcoming my fear and shadows.

I’m learning to embrace my own shit, my shadows (the dark parts I try to hide from the world), the alter ego that just wants to be loved too. She is a part of me and needs my attention as much as the pretty, sparkly parts. The fact is, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without her. None of us would be. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a victim of anyone else or especially myself, and the only way to prevent that is to go spelunking in the dense, dark forest of my being.

It’s calling to us all: “If you dare, come a little closer.” I dare! How about you?

Go into the Dark to See the Light

Knowing and understanding what lurks in the darkness of your life and self is something that will shine the brightest light you can imagine on any situation or challenge. It’s the unknown that we fear, what ultimately has power over us. I found out that I have a shadow control freak in my darkness. Her efforts to control people and situations has landed me on the shit list several times as of late. I think I always knew she was there but chose to ignore and defend myself when she tried to come to the surface. Denial. The thing is I’ve illuminated many other shadows over the years, but this one was more sneaky and elusive.

Now that I know what lurks in my basement, I can face it and ultimately allow peace and love to shine its light there. I now have to help her to be herself  in a balanced way by using a volume that does not disturb and cause drama. She is powerful and can serve me and mankind. I had to ask myself what positive contribution could control have in my life. I believe that it can be a wonderful thing in a situation where there is no one else to lead or show the way. That it can be a strong asset when trying to gather a group or team to move mountains for a worthy cause. That it could be a strength when I need to create order. And being on the eve of  publishing a book that is extremely dear to my heart, I needed to figure this out. I am grateful for what the universe shows me about myself.

What shadow(s) do you have lurking in the dark?

I challenge you this week to search your dark side for the orphan part of yourself that you may have left to fend for herself. She needs you to acknowledge her, to love her, and admit that she is an important part of who you are. Once you recognize her, work on balancing her attributes and creating positive ways in which she can come to the surface and be productive.

About Kellie R. Stone

"I make no excuses for my diverse roles as a Rock Your Feminine Type Coach™ and Branding Expert, best-selling author, and crime thriller novelist. Yes, I do still chuckle a bit at the irony. I kick ass as a women’s biz coach by day and kill off vulnerable fiction characters at night. What the hell, it makes for some interesting dreams. I believe that everyone should pursue their passions no matter how out there they seem to be. One of those pure heart-fluttering passions for me has always been writing. Since I did, indeed, chase my dream of being a writer, I've published two non-fiction books in the self-development genre, co-authored an international best seller, and now I'm finally pushing my much-too-old-to-be-in-the-nest novel out the door and into the world. My whole world is empowering and I adore showing others how to live life unfiltered, whether I do that through the written word or my coaching work. I love my job!" ~Kellie R. Stone

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  1. I find that too many times brushing aside things that need to be brought into the light is also a way of dealing with things. As you suggest, it’s better to deal with less than wonderful aspects of our personalities and situations. Great advice, Kellie.

  2. This really resounded with me. I had to walk, crawl, drag myself through the darkness to get to the Light. Once i found it within me, i knew it would always be there, even if i found myself in shadows. But i choose my direction, and i know where I’m going. If i find myself in a moment of darkness, i just keep going, i walk through it, because i know the light is always there.

  3. Beautifully written Kellie! Just as an observation that has been on my mind, Facebook seems to be a place where people shine their best face and it is in blogs like this that the real deal is happening-real life stories- for those brave enough to go into the “dense dark forest of their being.”


    • Thanks for stopping by Joy! I agree with your observation of FB. It’s a shame that more people don’t see the value in being transparent. However, there are some who reveal too much and too often. Balance is the key to authentic living and communication.

  4. I love the writings of John O’Donohue who talks about the dark being necessary to identify the light. Seeds are planted in the ground in darkness and grow to emerge into the light when tended properly. We are seeds that when well tended pop our little heads up, and with enough love and light, grow beautifully into our self expression on this soul journey. As you say, it’s our journey and no one can take it but us!

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