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Finding Peace with Solitude


Well, I couldn’t think of a more appropriate day to come back to my regular posting than the one where I “Introspect”.  It’s been an interesting couple of weeks moving into a small two bedroom apartment with my youngest daughter.  This transition from being married and living with five other people to it being just the two of us is revealing.  Let me explain.

Ever since I can remember, I have sought out other people, friends, family with which to spend the majority of my time.  Though my tendency to do this has not changed, it’s the opportunity to “always have people around” that has.  You get used to having other bodies present, hearing voices other than your own, getting irritated by the quirkiness of other humans.  The time alone, or semi-alone, is just a different kind of animal for me.  A part of me cries; a part of me rejoices, and I’m OK with that.  It’s good to even say that, knowing that there was a time when I had to separate each event into two categories: Good and Bad.  Well, this is neither good nor bad; it just is what it is.

My introspection is this: What are the reasons I find being around others all the time appealing?  What are the challenges?  How can I find more energy and fulfillment being by myself?

If you have the opposite challenge of feeling overwhelmed when with others and find it difficult to be around groups of people, ask yourself these questions:  What are the reasons I find being alone so appealing?  What are the challenges?  How can I find more energy and fulfillment being with people?

My Discoveries

♦ I don’t like being alone because there is no one to listen to my ideas.

♦ I receive energy from the presence of others.

♦ I like to look at people and listen to their voices, hearing what they have to say.

♦ My personality type is one that receives energy from regular touch and interaction with people .

The Challenges

♦ I don’t get quality time to do this introspection thing…LOL

♦ I ignore my own needs.

♦ Missing too many important points of self-improvement due to constant interaction with others.

♦ I can’t listen to the music I want to or sing without getting an emphatic “Shut up!”

Finding Balance

♦ I can practice being alone by doing things that I love like visiting a museum or garden park.

♦ Schedule time with friends and family so I have events to look forward to.

♦ Continue to introspect during times of solitude (that sounds so much better than saying “being alone”).

♦ Allow myself to feel the emotions without judgement.

If you feel inclined to do so, please join me in today’s self-awareness exercise and share your discoveries!

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

Photo by Mistlel

About Kellie R. Stone

"I make no excuses for my diverse roles as a Rock Your Feminine Type Coach™ and Branding Expert, best-selling author, and crime thriller novelist. Yes, I do still chuckle a bit at the irony. I kick ass as a women’s biz coach by day and kill off vulnerable fiction characters at night. What the hell, it makes for some interesting dreams. I believe that everyone should pursue their passions no matter how out there they seem to be. One of those pure heart-fluttering passions for me has always been writing. Since I did, indeed, chase my dream of being a writer, I've published two non-fiction books in the self-development genre, co-authored an international best seller, and now I'm finally pushing my much-too-old-to-be-in-the-nest novel out the door and into the world. My whole world is empowering and I adore showing others how to live life unfiltered, whether I do that through the written word or my coaching work. I love my job!" ~Kellie R. Stone

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One comment

  1. Thanks for sharing your introspections exercise and observations. I have the opposite challenge right now. I am currently living with my mom and brother after several years alone, and I miss my alone time sometimes. When I’m along I can listen to what I want to or nothing at all. My biggest challenge is too much noise in the house when I go to bed, so I am trying options like listening to soothing music on my headphones.
    I wish you all the best with your transition and hope you find joy in your solitude.

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