How important is sexual attraction in your relationship? Immediately, you might say it’s not as long as you love your significant other. That said, think about how you connect to your partner. If sex isn’t happening, are there other intimate ways that you show your love for each other? Also, think about why you aren’t attracted to your partner or visa versa.
Sex Is An Important Part Of Your Relationship
If you have decided that sex is an important part of your relationship, it’s crucial to keep it alive and well. If sexual attraction becomes a problem for either of you, it simply might not happen. Women, especially, can shy away from sex altogether if the spark isn’t there. You owe it to yourself and your partner to communicate about anything that gets in the way of your intimacy.
If there is a problem in a marriage, sex can become infrequent or even completely left behind. Either, couples aren’t engaging in sex frequently enough, or they’re just not engaging and connecting emotionally during sexual activity. The inability to connect on a high level could be due, in part, to lack of physical attraction. Having intercourse frequently with no emotional connection can be just as detrimental to a relationship as having sex as little as possible.
Bear in mind, intimacy doesn’t just mean intercourse. It could be anything from kissing, foreplay and even holding one another close. All actions like this will be more likely and more enjoyable if there is a strong sexual attraction on both sides.
It’s important to talk to each other about anything that is bothering you. For example, maybe your partner has gained a lot of weight since you got together. It isn’t that you don’t love your partner, it’s just that maybe you aren’t turned on by his or her particular body type with extra weight. It might be that you don’t fit together well any longer. Don’t feel bad about having these types of thoughts or feelings. If you love your partner, explain how you feel. If he or she is the one who has lost attraction, ask about it.
If there are things that you want to try in the bedroom, do share these with your partner. You may just need to spice things up a bit. Try new things that you both agree with and see if that sparks some extra attraction.
Doing What You Can to Be Attractive
Should you or your partner physically change to please the other? This is a question that many people ask themselves. I believe it is a subjective topic about which we each have our own opinions. For me, what I do to improve my appearance is for me first. However, my husband does benefit from positive changes as well. On the other hand, my hubby just lost 25 lbs and I love the way it helped reignite our sex life!
Also consider simple things you or your partner can do to amp things up. Maybe just a makeover or some new clothes might encourage some greater attraction to one another.
More Drastic Changes
If women are honest, most would probably admit to at least thinking about having some type of cosmetic surgery. I know I have. After having six children, my body was left with lots of stretch marks and some loose skin in the abdomen area. Though I never went through with it, I always wanted to get a tummy tuck. Truthfully, I have felt self-conscious about it during sex even though my husband says he doesn’t care. In my case, I need to feel sexy to completely enjoy sex and increase sexual attraction.
According to Stephanie Beidler Teotia, MD PA – Plastic Surgeon, many women change their appearance for themselves. The benefit it brings to their sex life or the increased sexual attraction their partner feels is just a bonus. And it’s not just women who change for their partners. It’s quite common for men to alter their appearance as well.
Is Sexual Attraction Always Surface?
The answer is absolutely not! Demisexual describes an individual who will not share a sexual attraction with someone unless they are emotionally attracted. As such, for these people, it’s the emotional attraction that makes their partner sexy. Additionally, sexual attraction can start with an intellectual encounter that is actually very deep. This brings an important question to the table: What attracts you to your partner? What attracts him or her to you?
In conclusion, sexual attraction is natural and something that is a part of most relationships. The key is to understand how important it is to your relationship. If there is a block there, discover what it is and try to do something about it.