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Despite the fact that most of the adults in this world have regular sex, it’s a topic that many don’t talk about nearly enough. That is unless it’s over cocktails with our absolute best friends. So, what do you say…shall we talk about sex? Here are 5 tips for safe and satisfying sex for the modern woman.
Safe and Satisfying Sex for the Modern Woman #1: Don’t Be Pressured Into Anything
A lot of people seem to think that only teenagers get pressured into sex but, the truth is, it happens to grown women all the time. Not only that, it’s common to get pressured into doing things you are not comfortable with. This can even happen with someone you have been with for a while and trust. Make sure that you don’t have any type of sex if you are not ready to or don’t feel comfortable. Say, “no” and be confident. You don’t have to explain or go into details about why you are saying no. You and your boundaries should always come first.
Ignore any societal labels and ideas. You are your own woman. All you need to do is trust yourself. If you want to have sex, do it, but if you just aren’t feeling it or aren’t ready, it’s more than OK to say no. If your date or partner gets angry, move on, sister. You deserve to be heard and respected.
Safe and Satisfying Sex for the Modern Woman #2: Make Sure You and Your Partner are Both Healthy
Your health should always be your absolute top priority. Get regular check-ups with your gynecologist or primary physician. These appointments should include a pap smear, vaginal exam, and a bi-annual screen for STDs if you are active with multiple partners.
It’s also your right to demand a clean bill of sexual health from any partner you are considering having sex with. I know it sounds a little awkward, but your life may depend on it. Things like HIV and Herpes are not curable and can change your life forever. Fortunately, however, most STDs are easy to clear up– for instance, chlamydia treatment is simple and inexpensive. Don’t take anything for granted where your health is concerned.
Safe and Satisfying Sex for the Modern Woman #3: Be with People You Trust
In this modern world, many women don’t choose to thoroughly know their sexual partners. Nevertheless, it’s important to stay safe no matter what. A lot of men will go to great lengths to ax the condom, but don’t let him get away with it. Stand your ground with this one. If they don’t or won’t use one, say no.
Sex without a condom for any amount of time can lead to contracting a sexually transmitted disease or an accidental pregnancy. Remember that him taking off a condom without your express permission is classified as rape. I know, this one blew my mind, too! It pays to know your rights as a woman!
Safe and Satisfying Sex for the Modern Woman #4: You Don’t Have to Have Sex
Believe it or not, some people do not have sex. We don’t all have the same libidos – and that’s absolutely okay. There are plenty of asexual people out there in wonderful and fulfilling relationships. The most important thing is to find a partner who has a similar libido to you so your sex life, or lack thereof, doesn’t become an issue. You can still be extremely intimate without having sex.
Some couples that are normally sexually active take breaks in order to form a stronger bond outside of the bedroom. This technique is used in some couples counseling as well as in other types of relationship development. It’s important to learn other ways to express your love that don’t include sexual stimulation.
Safe and Satisfying Sex for the Modern Woman #5: Try New Things
Eventually, all couples go through a sexual lull or experience a lack of interest in each other. This is perfectly normal, especially if you’ve been together a long time or have children. Daily life can get in the way with stress and busyness.
When things get dull or stuck in a rut, it’s important to try out new things or, at least, discuss it with your partner. If the two of you are especially busy, you may even need to schedule sex. You keep your appointments, don’t you? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Simple things like complimenting each other, touching, and appreciating one another do wonders for your intimacy, whether you end up having sex or not. Sometimes, these “other” actions can be more of a turn on than direct sexual contact, especially for women.