Hey, everyone! I have a special treat for you. My good friend and fellow Certified Rock Your Feminine Type™ Coach, Pam Randolph, has shared a dynamic post about how a woman can awaken to her full magnificent self! She shares some pitfalls on the journey and how you can climb out with your dignity in tact!
Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Pam!
By Pam Randolph
Being awakened is a beautiful thing. And I don’t just mean in a spiritual sense, although it is that, too. I mean truly discovering, or in most cases rediscovering, yourself- the one you put on a shelf because someone thought you were too much, too big, too wild, too whatever! We, women, tend to do that. In part, it’s our collaborative nature. But it’s also because, as young girls and women, we receive such mixed messages from everyone about what it means to be female.
I remember vividly in my own childhood being told that being bold, being competitive, being interested in being someone were not things that a young lady did. The emphasis being that you were not a lady if you enjoyed those things. And how many of us were taught that authority figures, usually men, were always right, and it was impolite to hold a differing opinion , let alone state it. We were taught, as young girls, that it was important to fit in, not stand out. And if we didn’t fit in, we usually encountered a world that looked down their nose at us, if not outright bullying. Add in society’s ideas of the ideal woman, and most of us were screwed from the get go. It’s damn near impossible for anyone other than a Hollywood starlet with hours to spend on a personal trainer and money for plastic surgery to reach them! And don’t even get me started on how everything gets Photo-shopped nowadays!
Then, we go and fall in love. And ladies, admit it. Love makes us stupid. We will give up just about anything our man doesn’t like to keep him happy. I know I did. And for awhile, we’re content to bask in his glow, becoming exactly what he wants us to be. But I’m telling you now, if you haven’t already figured it out, it won’t last and you’ll start to feel resentful. Why? Because your soul will yearn for the real you. The authentic you- the one you’ve buried who is crying to be released. And if you don’t, you will find that your body will show you in a myriad of ways, just how stupid you’re being. I know because I did it, and I can trace my bouts with things like migraines and irritable bowel syndrome right back to when I started hiding my authentic self.
Collaboration is a beautiful thing, but too often women compromise instead of collaborate. In other words, they give up something they want or enjoy in an effort to smooth out a relationship issue. And this doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, it could be any type of relationship. Too often we give away our power by yielding to someone else’s demands. Yes, I know. There are times when that is necessary, such as for work, but then the men should be doing it, too. I’m talking about when we give away something, but the other party does not.
We need to stop doing this to ourselves. Quit giving away pieces of yourself because someone doesn’t like them. Changing to fit their mold, especially in a romantic relationship, won’t work, at least, not for long. If they can’t like you for exactly who you are, find someone else who will. They’re out there! Yes, you might have to wait. Or find someone who’s willing to collaborate with you – in other words, you work together to find a mutually satisfying response to an issue and both parties meet in the middle. Don’t, don’t, don’t toss a piece of yourself out the window unless your partner does the same.
What if you already have? What if you’re now sitting here, reading this, and thinking “Fuck, I did that. But, I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to find the real me”? Trust me, she’s there. You just have to spend some time uncovering her again. Start by looking at what you used to like and how you used to act. You know, before everyone started feeding you the bullshit about how you were supposed to be. Then start doing some of them, no matter how insignificant they might seem. Why? Because they’re going to feel good, and that feeling is going to ignite a spark. Suddenly more things will emerge that you’ve hidden. And the more things you add in and start doing again, the more you start returning to your authentic self. The more you ignite. You’ll know you’re on the right track because it will feel so fucking amazing you won’t believe it! You may even cry because your soul will be so grateful that you have finally set it free. And trust me, once you bring that beautiful, authentic you back to the surface, you will never, ever hide her again. You’ll want to flaunt her.
ABOUT PAM RANDOLPH
Pam “Fireball” Randolph specializes in helping women ignite their passion and purpose. With a myriad of experience, including being one of only a dozen or so women certified as Rock Your Feminine Type™ personal and business branding coaches, she can help you transform your life. Like a fiery Phoenix, you’ll learn how to rise up from the ashes and be reborn, vibrant and rejuvenated. You can learn more about Pam at her website www.phoenixflightschool.net or join her exclusive Facebook group http://bit.ly/phoenixtransformationstation.