As I get older (and hopefully wiser), I have come to know how important it is to see and know ourselves as complex beings that require maintenance in all areas in order to thrive and be everything we’re meant to be. Over a lifetime, I’ve learned keys to doing just that (not that I’ve mastered them all, but at least I try). I’d like to share some of those with you as we approach yet another year and opportunity to make life changes that serve us and our fellow mankind.
Don’t separate the puzzle pieces, the ones that make up the whole YOU; keep them together; hold them close; treat each one with equal importance; make it a priority to place each one in its place. Then the picture will become clear; the whole YOU will shine! ˜Kellie R. Stone
1. Recognize non-serving patterns in your life: Addictions, poor relationships, bad employment situations, self-loathing, and repeat offenses are all signs that you have distinct non-serving mantras playing in your head. Revelation is the first step to overcoming them. Unfortunately, in doing so, you might have some self-discovery that bites you in the ass. This is why many ignore patterns and do everything in their power to avoid them. Don’t be that person. One clue that this sabotaging scene is replaying over and over again is that you make decisions when you are emotionally compromised. It is a fight or flight response that engages when there are no tools or plans in place with which to work through difficult times. Trust me; I’ve been there many times…
2. Believe things can change: Getting stuck is an awful feeling. Have you ever gotten your car stuck in a snowdrift or ditch? If so, you know how frustrating it is trying to free the wheels from their captor. You have to rock back and forth, punching the gas at just the right intervals to get the needed momentum to break free. And even then there is no guarantee you will succeed. Usually such an event takes outside assistance by either a passing good Samaritan or a towing service. My point is that no matter how “stuck” you think you are, there is always a way out, a way to change the circumstances that make joy impossible. Just so you know, it’s OK to call on others to help you. In fact, I strongly recommend it.
3. Change what you can; don’t sweat the rest: Know that I am a believer that God and the Universe are looking out for us, that we have purpose. Each event, relationship, skill, test, tragedy, and blissful happening occur because there is a bigger picture (the puzzle I spoke of). There are things that we must work to change, and there are those that change by physical, spiritual, and universal laws. Knowing which things to work at and which to leave alone is a key to true joy and contentment. Many never obtain such wisdom in an entire lifetime and lead frustrating, unsatisfying lives that never change.
4. Know who you are: Discovering your authentic self is not always easy. Having said that, know that it’s not the most difficult thing you will do either. This task is somewhere in the middle. Easy or hard, it is one of the most important things you will ever purpose to do. Without this knowledge of your true self and purpose, I don’t believe all of your dreams and aspirations can be fulfilled. There are tools and exercises to help you discover this imperative information. The first step is realizing that you need them. Let me know if I can help you with this. Email your inquiries to Kellie at firstname.lastname@example.org.
5. Be mindful: You know how you feel after eating a fast food meal in the car, in a hurry, on the phone, driving to your next appointment? Rushed, unsatisfied, still hungry, disappointed in yourself that you made poor choices…again. Sound familiar? Well, guess what? We do the same thing with our lives. We force feed ourselves tasks, appointments, stressful events, distractions, worries, the past, the future and, in the process, we don’t even come close to paying attention to the moment that is passing before us. We are a distracted culture that thrives on convenience and having things. Often, we will do WAY too much at one time to secure what we believe is our place in the world. Trusting that you want something different at this point, I will let you in on a little secret: Our purpose, our place in this world is to be mindfully happy. How, when, where, and with whom we achieve that happiness is what makes us unique. All I can say for sure is we must find a way to observe, listen, absorb, and process each moment with clarity if we want to live life to the fullest.