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4 Effective Ways To Build Self-Confidence

Have you ever seen a woman on the street or at a party and wondered what makes her so attractive? Know that women who are self-assured in their appearance, gifts, and social skills tend to be more physically and mentally attractive to both men and women. This isn’t to say that you have to be a supermodel, rocket scientist, or PR expert to be attractive or confident in yourself. Truthfully, loving yourself the way you are is the way to effectively build self-confidence. I’m going to say that again…


OK, now we can move forward with some helpful tips that will help you do just that.

Take a Self-Assessment 

Initially, think about what you like or dislike about yourself. How do you feel in social situations? What triggers feelings of doubt about yourself? Jot down your main thoughts so you can look back on them later after you’ve done some work. I encourage you to be completely honest here with no judgment. The point is to understand where you are now so you can get to where you want to be.

Now, is your self-assessment based on truth, or have you harshly compared yourself to others with a narrow perspective? Of course, you might find that you feel various emotions, depending on what you’re assessing. 

Set Some Realistic Goals

When I say set realistic goals, I mean for you to work on perspective and self-judgment first. All that other stuff like getting fit, changing your hair, and taking a class can come later. Once you have identified some specific attitudes that you can work on, pat yourself on the back. This is a crucial step to making real change that lasts. Start by working on one or two things at a time. For example, if you always criticize yourself when you look in the mirror, work on saying kind, helpful things that you believe now.

Focus on Your Strengths

Women, far too often, focus on their negative attributes. This emphasizes feeling like a victim and strengthens self-doubt and mistrust of yourself.

On the other hand, making the effort to highlight your strengths helps you to go into any situation with more confidence. It can be a fake-it-till-you-make-it thing until the real deal shows up. This can even help you to gently work on those self-proclaimed weaknesses.

Smile More Often 

Yes, smiling is a great way to seem happy and confident to others. That’s a positive for sure, but smiling can also help you feel better about yourself and your life. Simply smiling sends the message to your brain and subconscious that everything is good, even if it isn’t. This has the potential to change your mood, thoughts, and behavior. Women who smile often give off good vibes and a sense of confidence that others want to be around. People naturally want to know what makes you so happy.

Of course, there are some good reasons why you might not want to smile. Maybe there’s something about the manner you smile that you don’t like. Perhaps, your teeth are crooked or you’re missing teeth. This can make you feel self-conscious and as though something is missing. I encourage you to make peace with what can’t be changed. That said, you could talk to an orthodontist about your options. 

Carry Yourself Like You Matter…Because You Do!

build self-confidenceOne of the best ways to build self-confidence is to walk with your back straight and your head held high. It not only improves your appearance, but it strengthens the muscles in your core and back. Changing your posture will take time and practice, but the benefits far outweigh the effort.

A firm handshake is another way to show confidence, especially in a professional setting. Of course, you can loosen up a bit if you’re meeting a friend or someone you’re romantically interested in. Also, something as simple as wearing your favorite Paris perfume can help you carry yourself like the beautiful queen you are! Another way to demonstrate that you are sure of yourself is to keep your arms open. Folding your arms in front of your abdomen makes you look guarded and afraid.

These simple tricks can work wonders for improving your self-confidence. I recommend that you practice them every day to get the best results. And, remember to write down your wins so you can track your progress over time.


About Kellie R. Stone

"I make no excuses for my diverse roles as a Rock Your Feminine Type Coach™ and Branding Expert, best-selling author, and crime thriller novelist. Yes, I do still chuckle a bit at the irony. I kick ass as a women’s biz coach by day and kill off vulnerable fiction characters at night. What the hell, it makes for some interesting dreams. I believe that everyone should pursue their passions no matter how out there they seem to be. One of those pure heart-fluttering passions for me has always been writing. Since I did, indeed, chase my dream of being a writer, I've published two non-fiction books in the self-development genre, co-authored an international best seller, and now I'm finally pushing my much-too-old-to-be-in-the-nest novel out the door and into the world. My whole world is empowering and I adore showing others how to live life unfiltered, whether I do that through the written word or my coaching work. I love my job!" ~Kellie R. Stone

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