With the rise of dating apps and the growth of social media, it has simultaneously become easier and harder to find love than ever before. You may see more fish, swimming in that large pond, but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier to connect to someone special. Too many choices can overwhelm and even confuse our innate senses and ability to get to know others. It truly is a delicate operation to put yourself in the right frame of mind to find love, let alone actually build a lasting relationship.
Well, I happen to have a few tricks up my sleeve that I want to share with you lovely ladies! Here are some of my most savvy tips to find love in the coming year!
Love Yourself Affectionately!
“If you can’t love yourself how the hell are you going to love somebody else?” is just one of the many snippets of wisdom to come from the Queen of drag, Ru Paul, and it’s definitely true. Too often we seek approval, attention, and love from others when the most fulfilling thing we can do is love ourselves. “EASIER said than done!” you exclaim. I get it…
Many of us have years of trauma, pain, disappointment, and heartache to overcome before we can even dream of loving the girl in the mirror. I am no exception to this painful reality. I spent years not accepting my flaws and failures. Until one day, I looked in the mirror and decided that all those imperfections are what make me…ME! They are the things that others adore! I had to learn to love myself as I am before I could truly love someone else. No, it wasn’t easy, and I still struggle with it, sometimes.
Take a step back from seeking love and focus on yourself. Learn who you are as a woman and get intimately connected to her and her dreams. The right partner will come into your life or be revealed when you are happy with who you are.
Use Multiple Sources to Meet People
Once you are completely ready to add someone to your life, I recommend getting out there and living! There are multiple ways to put yourself out there. First, start visiting your favorite stores, museums, plays, concerts, bars, etc. After all, you need to be seen if you expect to connect with someone. If you struggle with live appearances due to time or shyness, try a dating app, chat line, social media, or online group.
Now you may be wondering how do chat lines work or how to meet quality people online. I understand your concern or reluctance to trying virtual dating. After all, we’ve all heard the horror stories. First, understand, though the virtual method can expand your reach, it isn’t a magic portal to love. You still have to be careful, patient, and savvy. Go with reputable dating sites and apps for the safest and best results.
Pick Up a New Hobby
In a world where everyone is so focused on their phones, it can be difficult to make connections in real life. Therefore, it’s important to put yourself in an environment where people actually talk to one another. One of the best pieces of dating advice I can give is this: adopt a new hobby or interest such as a sport, art class, or volunteer project. You needn’t even go into it with the intention of finding love but simply with an open mind and see where it takes you.
Sometimes, without realizing it, we block ourselves from receiving our desires by not believing we deserve happiness. And, no, we don’t usually do this intentionally or even consciously. These blocks are often deeply rooted in trauma from long ago. Pay attention to what thoughts come up when you think about having a relationship. Do you get scared of rejection or abandonment? Do you instantly start harping on all of your faults? These are clues that you may have internal blocks and self-sabotaging tendencies.
First, we must clear our limiting beliefs as much as possible before truly manifesting our heart’s desire. This is really for our own good. Remember, we want a healthy self-image and esteem before we bring someone else into the picture.
Second, become clear about who you want in your life and why. Visualize every aspect of his/her being and practice this every day. Open yourself up to the possibility of love and, for God’s sake, relax…wait for love to manifest itself into your life. Just maybe you will find love in the coming year!