By the time most women arrive in mid-adulthood, they have experienced at least one bad breakup. And, depending on the length of the relationship and how close it was, the emotional intensity varies. While some breakups are mutual and need to happen for both people to move on to happiness, some are devastating to one or both parties. Regardless of which scenario happens, remember that no matter we feel, it’s OK. Grief isn’t just for losing someone to death. I recommend allowing yourself to feel it all. Here are 6 ways to navigate a bad breakup.
Navigate a Bad Breakup #1: Accept the Situation
I know it can be difficult, but if you accept the situation that you’re in, you may find going through it easier. Whenever we can identify our emotions and embrace our life as is, these realities to accept can actually become teachers. Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to agree with it or even like it. It’s simply a realization that you are willing to ride the wave of life and see where it takes you. You are teachable and remain flexible in your heart for something more serving to come along.
Navigate a Bad Breakup #2: Allow Yourself To Grieve
Have you ever had a breakup and found yourself pushing your emotions away? Well, I have. I spent more time denying my human right to grieve my loss than I would have actually going through the process. This kind of denial only bites you in the ass later on. Grief is a learning road that helps us to see what is on the inside of us. It is a doorway to self-development and better relationships.
Navigate a Bad Breakup #3: Get Closure If You Can
Closure is something that helps us to move forward. It’s the reason people value funerals and exit interviews from lost jobs. As humans, we have a desire and need to understand the “why” of things. Though we don’t always get this luxury, it doesn’t hurt to try. If you have had a breakup and don’t have clarity about what happened, it’s your right to ask for more information. This is for you to understand more about your responsibility in the relationship.
Navigate a Bad Breakup #4: Learn from Your Mistakes
As bad as breakups can be, I choose to look for the proverbial silver lining. We are all on a life path that throws curve balls at us, learning how to hit those bastards out of the park brings more joy than you can imagine. It’s always a plus when we can directly apply a lesson to the next relationship. Whether it’s a situation where work got in the way or you just chose the wrong type of person, self-reflection will serve your future.
Navigate a Bad Breakup #5: Give It Some Time
What if you still think there’s hope to rekindle the relationship? Good question. Should you give up or try harder? This is a delicate situation that deserves some soul-searching on the part of both parties. Though there are thousands of articles out there on how to get your ex boyfriend back, it doesn’t mean you should try. Emotional pain can make us do things that don’t serve our best interest. I recommend giving your situation time and space to settle where it may. If there is still love and attraction there, the two of you will naturally be drawn back to each other. Maybe the relationship is good but just presented at the wrong time.
Navigate a Bad Breakup #6: Live Your Life
I know that grieving a loss of love requires some time to sort out. That said, living your life to the fullest can be the best therapy ever! Consider that you may have been stuck in a boring rut even before the breakup. Hell, this could have contributed to the decline of the relationship. I do know that when we live authentically and feel into the magic of life, love and gratitude for other people (and ourselves) explodes! Allowing disappointment and low self-esteem to take over fuels a viscious cycle of pain and poor relationships in general. Do what makes you happy and do it often!