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Perhaps you’ve been unhappy for a while, or maybe in the midst of a heated argument, you caught yourself imagining what life would be like with someone else. You precariously utter those 4 words: “I want a divorce.” Maybe you meant them, maybe you didn’t, but now you opened that door you hoped would always stay closed.
It’s important that you validate your own feelings and make sure they are not just temporary bouts of anger. Anyone who is married knows and understands how heated things can get during arguments and times of stress. One piece of advice that I always try to follow is to never make life-changing decisions when I am emotionally compromised. This is one of those decisions that needs to be thought through carefully.
I Want a Divorce Consideration #1: Is A Divorce Going to Solve the Real Problem?
Obviously, this isn’t always an easy question to answer, but it’s something that you and your partner need to explore. Additionally, consider whether you both still love each other? And, is your relationship worth fighting for at this point? If you’re unsure about any of these things, take some time to think about where you are in your relationship and where you would like to be. Perhaps the answer is to work on your relationship, not to end it. The last thing you want is to end things and regret it, so before you start the legal process, you need to be sure.
I Want a Divorce Consideration #2: Research What A Divorce Involves
Most people are clueless about what steps are necessary to get a divorce unless they have been through it. If both you and your spouse decide to file for divorce, it’s important to make sure that you both understand the process and what is involved. Dividing your shared assets and dealing with the custody arrangements for your children are two of the biggest tasks.
To ensure that the process runs smoothly, it’s best to hire a divorce lawyer. If you are at odds with each other, you will want to both have representation. There are plenty of family law attorneys to choose from, just make sure to pick a lawyer who has plenty of experience. Make sure you know the laws in your state and/or country, so you are prepared. Each district, province, or country will have their own processes. For Example, if you are from Singapore, a divorce lawyer from IRB Law would know that the only ground for divorce in Singapore is if ‘the marriage has irretrievably broken down’. Understand that your sister’s divorce in the UK would not be the same as yours in the US. Be informed.
I Want a Divorce Consideration #3: Face Yourself and Your Issues
No matter how unhappy you are in your relationship, getting divorced is never easy, especially if there are children and pets involved. The important thing is to be brave and remember that you are doing this to make your life better. This is a time to face yourself and your weaknesses. If you do not, you just might turn around and have the same thing happen with the next person.
Hiring a therapist or a life coach might help you to acknowledge some things you need to work on. Sometimes, baggage from the past plays a huge role in sabotaging love relationships. Also, this isn’t the time to run into the arms of another or the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Take some time to heal and get yourself together emotionally before you date again.
There is nothing fun about divorce. It is a serious and life-altering event that should never be taken lightly. No matter what you choose, take care of yourself and your children first. They are counting on you to hold it together.