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Your Weekly Dose Of Diva: Tales Of A Rule-Breaker

Feature Photo by Darlene Ouellettealexa3

Hello everyone! So, every week, I bare it all (well, maybe not all!) and let you in on my personal and professional aha of the week. That one thing that seems to be really up, not only for me, but also for my world and all the wonderful people in it…

Happy week! With the super moon lighting pretty much everything up, I’ve been having a week full of breakthroughs and happy clients…yes, I still (and probably will always) light up with glee when I get a message like this through cyberspace…”I can’t TELL you how much better I feel. Calmer, more centered, accepted. You are a magic and light worker. THANK YOU…”. I’ve also been having a bit of a delicious time doing some rule-breaking, but not the traditional kind…

Let’s talk about rules. Yes, I know…makes you want to yawn just thinking about it but hear me out. Over the last decade I have become quite a rule-breaker…not traditional rules like “thou shalt not steal” but all the rules we set for ourselves daily. Let me give you an example. When Diva my horse first came into my life I had an entire rule book on how being with a horse should look, how they should act, how a good horse behaved and so on. There was a heck of a lot of self-imposed rules that I’d built up and internalized through my previous riding experience and things I’d learned in childhood and beyond. Thankfully Diva was having none of that. It became apparent just a few weeks in (as I was throwing a hissy fit and wondering what on earth I’d done) that those rules did not apply to this gal. What we start to realize is that by applying these rules to our lives the potential for connection and deepening is intensely limited. If Diva had played by the rules or I had tried to make her, our relationship would look a whole lot different right now.

So what is a rule? I think of it as a line in the sand – one side is right, the other wrong. Obviously some rules are completely and totally necessary but others, well, not so much. The whole concept of rules implies that you are not particularly capable of making good decisions, that you need to be monitored and controlled, and ironically the monitor/judge is often ourselves. The problem is that these rules are innately self-limiting…stopping up natural expression and real freedom of being. They can also be intensely guilt-creating, our inner judge often reminding us about the “rule” that we just broke and how very “wrong” that was. Yuck!

[Tweet “The great thing about rules is that when you start to see them they often just shift on their own! “]I want you to take a minute to get quiet. Let’s look at your inner rulebook (and it may just be massive and that’s ok). What rules do you apply to yourself on a daily basis and how are they serving you? (I’ll give you a more specific example from my rulebook. One of the ones that is still a work in progress is this one – “Everyone has to like me” ). Then, ask yourself, is this particular rule serving me? Maybe parts of it are and parts of it aren’t. Maybe it is ready to be released completely. If it’s not serving, can I let I begin the process of letting it go? Breath into that new awareness…a full deep breath to shine some light on this part of you.

My favourite rule-breaker and mentor in the art ;)
My favourite rule-breaker and mentor in the art 😉

The great thing about rules is that when you start to see them they often just shift on their own! The other great thing? Life starts to feel a whole lot freer! All of sudden you can let that beautiful inner guidance of yours start running the show rather than being wrapped up and chained in all the “shoulds”, “have-tos” and “good and bads.” If I take my rule of “everyone has to like me” as an example, can you start to imagine the freedom that naturally flows in when that shifts? All of a sudden life takes on a whole new level of expression when we stop worrying so much about how our actions are going to affect others! So, this week I am taking a whole lot of breaths into that one and getting some BodyTalk on it. I’ll keep you posted on how its feeling 🙂

Ok, I would love to hear what you notice! What rules have you been playing by? And how does it feel to have a look at those and even let them go??

To your fabulousness,


AL- bonfirePS. If you want to watch me in action and get in on the BodyTalk fun (side effects of sessions = relaxation, more fun, more joy and a whole lot of laughter cuz I’m silly like that), make sure to join me for my next Bonfire Session. It’s a totally free BodyTalk session over Spreecast (meaning you can join in from anywhere in the world) at 6:30pm PDT this Thursday August 14th. Head here to register.

About Alexa Linton

A modern day cowgirl with a mission, Alexa Linton is known for lighting up her world and her clients with her infectious personality, bold coaching style and her secret sauce, the BodyTalk System. When these forces combine, perceptions transform forever, and health and lives change irrevocably in the most fabulous ways. With over ten years of experience working with horses as an Equine Sport Therapist as well as thousands of animals and people, Alexa has developed a healing style that is as intuitive as it is inspiring. Her first and foremost priority is results and she has been a catalyst for positive and lasting change for thousands as a practitioner, teacher and author. A fire-starter by nature, there is nothing Alexa loves more than seeing people light up from within and their lives change “magically and miraculously” as a result. Well, that and animals. Alexa’s animals are a big part of her healing team, providing insight, giggles, massages and the effect of the perfect furry hot-water bottle. Except for her mare Diva of course, who is much too large to be a hot water bottle, and prefers to rocket people into powerful transformation with her own style of Equine Facilitated Light up. It is Alexa’s big mission to help people find the fire in their relationships, career and bodies and truly live a life they love.

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  1. I don’t recommend this method for everyone, but getting critically ill this summer made the structures and habits I live by (rules) all open to review. And I found that what I started doing over twenty years ago, in one case, was no longer serving me. And in another, I found that my structure in place to take care of my finances had become rigid and rules-y and not so useful.

    I’ve been teaching this awareness to my clients, because I don’t want them — or anyone else — to have to almost die to realize this.

    Being love in action (love that!) allows me to be gentle and to allow for change as I grow. Yay!

    Blessed be,

  2. I loved this Alexa! Speaks to me and how I grew up – Catholic with a ton of rules. It is basically a gateway to shaming as we are bound to be less than perfect. Really loved the message! Thank you 🙂

  3. I live by rules such as these :
    Become and be the change you want to see in this world.
    Treat people like you want to be treated.
    Don’t ask a question if you are not prepared to hear the answer.
    Say it as it is.
    When pointing a finger there are three fingers pointing back at you.


  4. As they say, rules are meant to be broken – breaking our own self imposed limiting rules that keep us from our joy are the best rules to break! It’s all about the ebb and flow – easy breezy!

  5. Nicely written Alexa, and thank you for sharing it Kellie.

    This line:

    “The great thing about rules is that when you start to see them they often just shift on their own!”

    reminds me of how in the world of quantum physics, the waveform changes when we ‘observe it.’ Makes good sense to me!! 🙂

    Little John AOG

  6. Love this post on the rules we set for ourselves. I am definitely going to sit with this idea and see what comes up for me. I agree with Shelley that I hadn’t thought of limiting beliefs as similar to self-imposed rules but can feel this resonates with me.

  7. Oh how fantastically delightful this post is! In the 4yrs since I had my daughter and was given the responsibility from the universe to teach her all the rules – I have been questioning all of them! It has really helped me to see the world and society in a different light and open up ideas and possibilities for an improved humanity. The Aquarian Super Moon reminds us to “go our own way” and your post speaks to that – forge your own path – regardless of what society, loved ones, or ourselves have to say about it! Rules were meant to be broken and it takes courage to stand up for yourself and also to take a good look at ourselves 🙂 Great self-exploration questions here, I will definitely be thinking about this more. Cheers!

  8. Interesting… I’ve never thought of our limiting beliefs as rules.. but you’re quite right. Once we’ve decided to hold them, that is what they become. And as we develop awareness, then yes, they do shift.

    I have one simple rule for living. Be love in action. When i live from that, life flows easily and effortlessly. 🙂

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