Meeting that person whom you’re attracted to, have an instant connection with and who ‘gets you’ is something many dream of. In the early days, especially, a relationship is all sunshine and rainbows. However, as time goes on, it’s natural for conflict and challenges to arise. Though no two couples are alike, there are some warning signs that things aren’t going as well as you thought. Here are 6 common reasons love relationships fail.
Common Reasons Love Relationships Fail #1: You Constantly Argue About Money
Money is one of the biggest reasons couples argue … and, break up. Perhaps one of you has a significant amount of debt which makes the other uneasy, or one of you earns a lot more than the other. There can also be a difference of opinion about when and how money is spent. Once you’re in a committed relationship, I recommend coming to a workable agreement about all financial aspects of your life together. Questions like, “Do you trust them enough to have a joint bank account?” or “Who is the better choice to handle the bills?” need to be asked. It’s also important to set a budget and stick to it, and be honest and upfront about spending.
Common Reasons Love Relationships Fail #2: You Disagree… On Just About Everything
You’re the active type, and he or she is a couch potato. You’re a neat freak, he is messy. You like nights in, she like nights out. While there is always going to be some difference of opinion in relationships (and opposites often attract), having no common ground at all is a tricky situation. Couples can find themselves in this predicament often if they have joined based on looks and a heated sex life. Once the honeymoon period is over, it’s hard to find a foundation to support a long term relationship.
In the case of this type of conflict, compromise is necessary. After all, if you love someone, you want him to be happy, right? Set some ground rules for things like cleanliness and respect that you both have different views on certain things. Whether they are big issues like opposing ideas on religion or politics or something smaller, being open, honest and respectful could allow you to live harmoniously indefinitely.
Common Reasons Love Relationships Fail #3: Opposing Future Dreams
Maybe you dream of settling down, buying a house, having 2.4 children and a dog. But he wants to travel the world or focus on his career. These are serious reasons to reconsider your relationship. Though things may work out in the long run, it’s a good idea to think about if you are moving in the same direction. Don’t leave this one to chance. Revisit your future dreams often and make sure you can live with your partner’s and he can live with yours.
Common Reasons Love Relationships Fail #4: Mental Illness
Mental illness is surprisingly common, in fact, it’s estimated that one in five adults experience it in their lifetime. But this doesn’t mean it’s easy to deal with. Mental illness can quite literally rule a person’s life. As a partner to someone who is going through this you, of course, want to be supportive, but over time it can be incredibly draining. Anxiety, depression, OCD, even PTSD are all examples of conditions that can be troubling to a relationship. Questions like, “what to expect dating a PTSD sufferer?“ and “How will this affect my life and relationship?” should be asked if you are aware of his or her mental condition. Primarily, you both have to decide whether your relationship will serve to help the ill partner. It may be that a break or separation would help more than splitting up completely.
Common Reasons Love Relationships Fail #5: A Drastic Change in Appearance
If you gain a little weight or begin to age, most of us would expect and hope that our partner would still love us. However, this isn’t always the case, depending on the initial attraction to someone. Entering a relationship because someone is beautiful or handsome is superficial and, unfortunately, won’t last. Beauty fades and people change…period. This is not just men being shallow, women participate in this type of judgment as well though not as much. Cosmopolitan.com did a poll that revealed 50% of men felt that weight gain was grounds for breaking up compared with twenty percent of women.
This reminds us all to really think about why we want to be with someone. We also must come to grips with the fact that no one is perfect and flaws are a part of life. Instead of looking at the surface qualities of a partner, focus on who he or she is inside. What value does he bring to your life? What value do you bring to his?
Common Reasons Love Relationships Fail #6: One Partner Is Too Needy or Clingy
Finding someone you adore and want to spend time with is life-changing. However, it’s important to continue to live your own life, too. If they start acting too needy or clingy, your life can suddenly take a nosedive. It’s important to dig a little deeper into what is causing this type of behavior. My experience is that fear of loss or rejection can play a huge role in clingy behavior. Gently discuss what you both need and listen to what concerns come out. This approach will help you to understand any history or experience that may be at the core of the problem.