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“Drive-by” Emotions

Photo by Sporto


One of the most poisonous thoughts anyone can have is this: I can’t. Have you ever considered how many times you’ve rehearsed that statement in your mind?  You don’t even have to say the words out loud or clearly identify them consciously for them to have a negative impact on your life.  After a while the implication of not being able to do or receive something comes in the form of what I call “drive-by feelings.” Let me explain…


I’ve always loved beautiful things, clothing, furniture, jewelry, etc. but have lacked the income to purchase most of what I find attractive…it’s felt like a curse at times.  I would look at photos and touch the items with unfulfilled yearning time-and-time-again just to be disappointed by my mind that always initiated words and emotions of discouragement.  It was like an invisible flash card in front of me that emphatically said: You can’t have that!  Most of the time I wouldn’t even hear the words; I began to feel instant emotional let down without even thinking anything.  I knew I had to change this devastating “auto-pilot” response to the desires of my heart; otherwise, I would never have them.

Change Comes

One day, I opened my Internet Home Page as usual and saw an article/review for a new car created by Porsche called the Panamera. I have loved all things Porsche since I was a young teen.  The photo of the new car intrigued me, so I opened the link and even researched further on the Porsche site.  Surprisingly, I felt like a kid in a candy store with a pocket full of money!  I didn’t feel the violating “drive-by” negative emotion, nor did my mind rehearse any “I can’t” lines.  WOW!  I had a HUGE breakthrough in mental awareness.  This, my friends, is how you create your future!  It has to happen on the inside first before you see it on the outside.  I’ll let you know when I pick up my new car!`

Now, let me clarify something:  you don’t have to do this with $100,000.00 cars or anything luxurious for that matter. You can be much more practical if that’s your desire.  Be aware of your reactions to anything that typically has been mentally “off limits” to you; such as, overcoming chronic illness, landing a new job, a fulfilling marriage or relationship, obedient kids.  Start small and work up bigger things.


This week ask yourself what things and/or events that you truly want in your life. Write down your answer in your journal.  Now, next to that list, record how you feel and what you think when you think about those things.  Is it negative, positive or indifferent?  Focus on why wanting those items and changes causes subsequent emotions whether they be pleasant or discouraging.  Remember, awareness is your first step to changing.  Also consider this is not going to change overnight.  Practice makes perfect in this case.

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

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About Kellie R. Stone

"I make no excuses for my diverse roles as a Rock Your Feminine Type Coach™ and Branding Expert, best-selling author, and crime thriller novelist. Yes, I do still chuckle a bit at the irony. I kick ass as a women’s biz coach by day and kill off vulnerable fiction characters at night. What the hell, it makes for some interesting dreams. I believe that everyone should pursue their passions no matter how out there they seem to be. One of those pure heart-fluttering passions for me has always been writing. Since I did, indeed, chase my dream of being a writer, I've published two non-fiction books in the self-development genre, co-authored an international best seller, and now I'm finally pushing my much-too-old-to-be-in-the-nest novel out the door and into the world. My whole world is empowering and I adore showing others how to live life unfiltered, whether I do that through the written word or my coaching work. I love my job!" ~Kellie R. Stone

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  1. Kellie,
    Whenever my kids say, “I can’t,” I stop them and ask them to try that again…. i.e. those words aren’t allowed in our house. I think it’s so important to keep the mindset that all things are possible.
    Hugs to you. I hope you are doing well,

  2. Nice post, Kellie! Nail right on the head for me. Left voice message for you today… 😐

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