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A Good Time to Change

Crisis: A Catalyst for Change

Believe it or not, there’s nothing that says let’s make some changes like getting kicked in the face or being thrown down to the mattress with a month long bout of pneumonia. The fact is, pain and adversity have long been keys to some of the greatest triumphs in history…my life has been no exception. Actually, I didn’t always see things in such a positive manner. I used to curl up in the fetal position and cry like a baby if I couldn’t pay my phone bill. But after years of being in much deeper crises, I’ve learned a different way of thinking that has changed my life.

Unexpected Trauma

Immediately following the recent birth of my sixth child, I stared into the concerned eyes of my obstetrician as I asked, “Is everything okay?” She replied, “No, we have to get this bleeding stopped. During a hard, Pitocin induced labor; I had not received any pain medicine because of the rapid progress I always make after five centimeters dilation. Suddenly, the nurse practically jumped on my abdomen with brutal force trying to convince my uterus to clamp down. I have had pain in my life, but nothing had compared to what came next. My sweet, precious doctor proceeded to plunge her gloved hand into my traumatized vagina in order to remove blood clots and massage my organs from the inside. I had never heard of such a procedure, let alone actually think that I would be a victim of it.

Fueled By Adrenaline

My mind raced from wanting to know how my newborn daughter was doing to the horrible reality that was unfolding with my body. I had never had any complications with my previous five labors, so the event was new ground and a test that challenged my doctor and me. After several minutes of the excruciating invasion, the bleeding stopped and the prodding was reduced to the outside massage every ten minutes or so. I could finally calm my shocked body and focus on the precious gift that made every bit of the pain worthwhile.

I’m sure this account was pretty gross for even some of you experienced moms, and definitely for you young women who have never even seen the inside of a delivery room or spoken to an OB. Sharing this story seemed to make a strong point for today’s topic. Sometimes we have to go through things that hurt a lot in order to heal or to be better. I hope you can see the correlation. I could have died if my Obstetrician had not done what she did. At the least, I could have lost my uterus to an emergency hysterectomy. I had a new appreciation for my life, motherhood, and my female body parts. It was a change that needed to happen.

Realize the Value of a Bad Time

It’s true that in my emergency, I had no choice but to lie there and take what was happening to me. I could not have jumped off that table if I had wanted to. There are those times when we are faced with irrevocable events that come at us like freight trains; and, guess what? We’re stuck on the track. It is in those unforeseen experiences that we are faced with life’s most challenging moments. When they are over, we can often see the good that wriggles out from under the mess.

Change When You Choose To

The other form of adversity that can be healing is the kind that we choose to undergo. We often tiptoe around this healthy-woman2form of self-sacrificing, painful option for years. Either one has an epiphany that provokes the life-altering event or they are forced into change by the freight train from the above paragraph. A good example would be the chronic smoker who knows that every puff they take is bringing them one step closer to a terminal disease and even death. Even though they know the horrible outcome of their choice will be bad, they choose to avoid the temporary pain of nicotine withdrawal. Truthfully, the inconvenience of a week of physical discomfort would be a piece of cake compared to vomiting for days after chemotherapy treatments, watching your body rot from the burning radiation, and the emotional pain of saying goodbye to your loved ones because you avoided change. I watched my mother do just that…it was the saddest thing I had ever seen.

Using Wisdom

Ladies, myself included, it’s time to make some changes. Some of them will be hard to accomplish without going through some stuff. Adversity is a part of life, and you might as well choose to see it as an opportunity to grow and heal. I’m not saying that you should go out and torture yourselves with things that you are not ready to face or change; but I am saying, just think about the difficulties that you have gone through. Try to see the positive that came of those events. Also, be open to pushing yourself a little more when it comes to making choices that involve complexity. Be strong and stand up to the addictions and poor life situations that are only hurting you.

I would like to hear about some of your most difficult events and life changes. Please post your comments or feel free to send me a personal message. Don’t forget to find something to smile about today.

About Kellie R. Stone

"I make no excuses for my diverse roles as a Rock Your Feminine Type Coach™ and Branding Expert, best-selling author, and crime thriller novelist. Yes, I do still chuckle a bit at the irony. I kick ass as a women’s biz coach by day and kill off vulnerable fiction characters at night. What the hell, it makes for some interesting dreams. I believe that everyone should pursue their passions no matter how out there they seem to be. One of those pure heart-fluttering passions for me has always been writing. Since I did, indeed, chase my dream of being a writer, I've published two non-fiction books in the self-development genre, co-authored an international best seller, and now I'm finally pushing my much-too-old-to-be-in-the-nest novel out the door and into the world. My whole world is empowering and I adore showing others how to live life unfiltered, whether I do that through the written word or my coaching work. I love my job!" ~Kellie R. Stone

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  1. I went through something similar during the birth of my last child. my ob was misinformed and was told i was having my first child so he didnt rush to the hospital, so there i was with 3 residents between my legs and my placenta had gotten stuck and wasnt coming out. as soon as my ob got into the room(because everyone else was just standing around) he had to stick the metal thing(speculum?) inside me and scrape out the rest of my placenta. it really is like being stuck on the tracks. thankfully everything turned out okay with me and my little one. this was a great post, some might think it a little ewwwy but ive been there so ty.:)

    • I knew there had to be someone out there who understood. I am thankful to have had a great OB who knew what to do in a timely manner. She literally saved my life…and my uterus.

      Be well

  2. First of all, you are a great writer. Second, I completely agree. Changing can seem so difficult at times and we resist without considering the long term effects. Ignorance is bliss but it doesn’t last long.
    I love your website and everything in it.

  3. This is a good article. A response in kind would take all day.

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