For some making friends (and keeping them) comes easily, and for others it seems to be a daunting chore that never seems to happen. Today, I was thinking about all of the people in my life whom I consider to be my friends, how we met, and how we continue to grow (or not) in our relationships. Have I been a good friend? Yes and no…nobody is perfect.
Coming Together-Drifting Apart
There have been people come into my life spontaneously and those who have gone out just as quickly. In some of those cases, I’m left to wonder why. Was it something that I said or did? Was it just a situational friendship? Maybe it wasn’t me at all.
Because we all go through life-seasons, there are times when some friends slip away and others become closer. It depends on the specifics of your life and theirs. This fact doesn’t necessarily mean that either of you is a bad friend. However, you might want to explore your feelings to make sure that there wasn’t any misunderstanding or conflict that didn’t get resolved in the case of the waning relationship. I did this recently with one of my best friends.
We had drifted apart from a stupid misunderstanding that neither of us meant to come between us. After some phone tag and a couple of emails, I wondered if we were ever going to make up. Finally, I just dropped by her home. It became quickly obvious to both of us that our parting was silly and mainly caused by girl sensitivity and creative soul misunderstanding. Thankfully, we are still good friends…even though I was being an ass.
“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”
The One Who Got Away
So, I guess that it’s not the trials that you go through that determine whether you are a good friend but rather how you handle them. It’s a process of growth. Keep in mind that you may not be able to restore a friendship if the other person is not willing. This is not your fault. Moving on is your only choice at that point. When you know that you’ve done your part, it’s out of your hands. I’ve had to let friends go. Yes, it hurt, and I didn’t understand, but it wasn’t all negative. I learned some things from those turbulent relationships – things that make me a better friend to those who are still in my life and for those I’ve yet to meet.
Just Be You
The best thing that you and I can do to be good friends is be ourselves. Know that we are all fallible, emotional creatures who need each other. The quicker we figure this out, the quicker we’ll have loving, life-changing friendships. It makes for good blogging, too. =) Tell us about your experiences with friends. Are you a good friend? Have you let someone down? Have they wronged you? We’d love to chat about it. Be well-be beautiful.
Photo by Ivee
Well, this really made me think. I have been badly hurt twice by friends I loved. And the result is that I have become very cautious about friends. I tend to keep to myself more. I hold people at arms length more than I probably should. Recently I have made friends, online of all places, with a woman I think about constantly. We seemed to just…”connect”. We are both in the middle of transitions, life’s journey has brought us both to a fork in the road. And perhaps it is that, and the willingness to share our recent experiences with each other, that has created the friendship. I look forward to a day when she and I can meet face to face, with that fork in the road behind us both.