Tag Archives: Adversity

It is interesting how life events can give us the option to develop new perspectives which can then impact us on all levels. This happened to me on Thursday when I received a call from my dad about some family issues. After fretting over it, losing the day from fretting, I realized that this was an opportunity from the Universe, an invitation to review my feelings about the subject, previous work I had done on it and thought I had completed, and perhaps make a more conscious shift to position me better into the future.

Well, about a week ago, I got out of the car and noticed a butterfly on the ground. He was pretty damaged. An inch of one wing was missing. The rest of him was beautiful - a mix of colors; orange, yellow, brown and blue. He was broken, but he was still beautiful. I took a picture of him as I thought of how God had created this beautiful creature and how he could still be so lovely in his brokenness.

Remember the balance beam in the school yard? Did you walk on it, balancing with your arms out from your side in the air? What about the lines on the sidewalk that you would walk like a tightrope? It was all about feeling the success of walking the line without falling off. We all have experienced that bliss of success. We also all know how it feels to "fall" and be in the topsy-turvey moments. How did you handle it when you fell off the balance beam? Did you criticize yourself? Did you swear to never get up on that thing again? Or, did you get right back up and take the risk of falling off again? Maybe a little of both? But here is the nitty-gritty: Each choice we make has a purpose. Life requires moments of imbalance in order to find the perfect balance.

Grief comes in all kinds of forms, doesn’t it? It can be the grief of a broken relationship, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, even the loss of organs through a surgical procedure.

I am curious, when you got married, what did you think? Were you prepared for the road ahead? Did you talk about major life decisions? Did you both know and agree on the big things like children, money and goals? Were you even thinking about it, or did you think that once you said "I do", you would just live happily ever after?

"Resilient," he said… "A warrior," he called me… if I could only see that truth… Living with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) can be painful when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Love means everything yet nothing at all. We seem to love hard and fast yet live in constant fear of being abandoned. The heartache is caused by an ongoing yearning to find true happiness, though we may not even know what that is.

Each of our lives start as blank canvas. You get to add the colors with the strokes of your brush through your actions and attitudes toward the things you do, feel and accomplish. Here is the way I decide which colors are going on my canvas: Anything positive, like joy, love, mercy, grace, hope, giving, and helping others are my pastels and bright colors. Anger and bitterness, hate, selfishness, and deceit are the dark, foreboding colors that don't allow for a beautiful portrait.

Who is an Addict? Most people define an addict as someone who is an alcoholic or drug user. The truth is, anything that eases pain can become an object of addiction. People become addicted to the absence of feeling emotion. They want pain on the outside instead of the inside, and they want to become someone they are not. It's not always easy to recognize an addict, however. They can have good jobs, good friends and look no different on the outside than anyone else.

I'ts normal to be sad and hurt at times. It's also very normal to get angry, however letting it consume you is not healthy. The hard part is knowing how much time to allow these emotions to have the stage. One thing I found that helps is a technique called Self-Soothing. You can find helpful resources here. SELF-SOOTHING is comforting, nurturing and being kind to yourself. One way to accomplish self-soothing is to comfort your five senses in the following ways:

Stepping stones of all shapes and sizes are used in gardens to make the path easier to see and also to make it more decorative. Something I find interesting about stepping stones is that the path has already been chosen by the gardener and then she lays the stepping stones. Some decorate the stones with beads, gemstones, glitter and other smaller stones and glass to make the stepping stones more distinctive. This gives us an awesome analogy for our lives.

Today is March 1, 2013 – Self Injury Awareness Day Self-injury or self-harming is when a person deliberately hurts themselves physically to deal with the emotional pain they are suffering. When it comes to self-harm, cutting is thought of as the main way people hurt themselves. But this is only one way to deal with inner pain. Another misconception is that it’s mainly teenagers that use this coping mechanism; the truth is, self-harm occurs in all age groups, both sexes and many races and backgrounds.

Just for a minute, try to imagine what it would be like to see yourself through the eyes of a child. Remember or not, we all did this at one time. After all, there is a little girl in there somewhere. She is your best friend, your confidant, your endless source of creative ideas. But first let's look at ourselves through the eyes of who we are now...a grown ups, maybe middle-aged women.

If you have been in any type of relationship with someone who suffers from BPD, you would tell me that it was hell and you were constantly walking on eggshells. The problem is, we BPDs are just as afraid of ourselves as you are of us. We do not like living with this person any more than you do. However, it is not our choice...not at first anyway. This is how we learned to deal with life, whether it is right or wrong. For me, everyone that I have ever loved has left me. No one wants to deal with the ‘crazy’ and honestly, most days I don’t want to either.

I think the problem is that I’ve never understood quite what love is. Is it having someone there for you when you need him or her? Someone who can listen when you need to vent and won’t judge you for your craziness? Someone who shares the same core values and supports you on your decisions? Seriously, do these seem like I expect too much?

I am a mother. I have 3 little people. Two daughters and one son; ages 9, 7 and 5 respectively. I have a mother, and I have a mother-in-law. I also still have a living grandmother. So what is a mother? If we refer to the dictionary the definition is concise - a ‘female parent’. But how do we do it and what are our expectations of being a mother? What about having a mother? Surely it’s more than being a female parent. It’s about the nurturing, the teaching, the sharing, the guidance and the companionship. There are many books penned on just the issues of how to be a better mother and how to deal with the position of being a mother.