Tag Archives: self-awareness
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When a woman wears a real diamond, she markedly changes her posture, her confidence, and the way she carries herself; an interesting observation that deserves a couple of laps around our brains…you know, for the sake of understanding something about ourselves. Why do you think a stone can make such a difference in our perceived self-worth and attitude? Besides the fact that it’s all pretty, sparkly and reminds you of playing with Barbie as a child. (Yes, that bitch does have everything!)
OK, now for the real reasons. One is psychological and the other is scientific. #1- Wearing something valuable does not make us valuable. Truth is; we feel better about ourselves when we touch or possess something valuable or authentic. Put a glass rock on the same gal, and tell her it’s glass, she won’t experience the same euphoria as she does with the genuine diamond. (That last statement, a no brainer but not this next one.)
#2 – All things in the universe have unique vibrations or frequencies. (Didn’t I tell you it was scientific?) Diamonds happen to be one of those substances that live at the higher end of the vibration scale, as do most “real” gemstones and precious metals. Our energy resonates with the energy of authentic matter from nature and it in turn resonates with ours. Hmmm…where do you think I’m going with this? Yes, that’s right (you deserve a gold star); I’m talking about our state of being. Are you acting like diamonds and vibrating with your authentic frequency (all shiny and sparkly) or are you faded, lackluster, like a simply cut piece of glass?
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
***This post is an excerpt from Kellie Stone’s book, “The Butterfly Payoff“. Stay connected for upcoming information about obtaining a copy of this gold nugget-filled work!
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Hi Everyone! Today is a good day! Why? I actually got some Holiday shopping done! Understand the norm for me is rushing from store-to-store on Christmas eve searching for last minute items. Talk about procrastination…
I don’t know why I do it every year and, of course, I always tell myself I won’t ever do it again just to end up in the same predicament on December 24th. Well, not this year! I realized that I needed an easy, fast way to shop early, so I turned to one of my new favorite online shopping sites called CSN Stores. Using a promo code I already had, I was able to purchase a few items for my children….early! I did, however, have a little trouble deciding to shop for the kids as opposed to treating myself with a new espresso machine, really cute shoes or cookware that I desperately need. OK, so I don’t really NEED the “really cute shoes”…oh, wait; yes I do! Because the site is so diverse with over 200 stores that carry anything from this beautiful platform bed -to home decor- to pet supplies, you can understand my temptation. Needless to say, I went with the Christmas shopping for my babes. I now have a sense of accomplishment and an overwhelming sense that I learned a valuable life-lesson about procrastination.
So, bottom line here, ladies, just get it done! Whatever you keep putting off;whatever gets you in a rut; whatever makes you cringe to think about; do it NOW! I did! And I feel so good about myself. Oh, and just in case you want to know more about CSN, I will be doing a full blown review on their products, customer service, and shipping here soon after I receive my order. I will say this: my experience with them thus far has been fabulous!
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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Procrastination: The One Thing You Can’t Seem to Get Done
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If someone had told me, when I was eight, that I’d someday write a book and quote Mrs. Carol Brady (Florence Henderson), there surely would have been laughter…much laughter. No disrespect of her at all; I just didn’t see her as a philosopher at the time. I much preferred Alice for that sort of thing.
Let’s take a look at Mrs. B’s key phrases: “…a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and “make simple pledges to change…” Translation: Take it slowly or you’ll be sorry. Too many women experience goal-reaching burn out while striving for dreams that are important to them. Why do they give up so easily? Why do they let circumstances get in the way of being who they are or obtaining what they want? It’s fairly simple: They often take on too much all at once, eat the elephant too quickly and you get indigestion. Stick to the “one bite at a time” theory.
I know the type well…they get all excited about the end result, do everything they can to MAKE IT HAPPEN. It’s an adrenaline spike that, unfortunately, can not last the course. How do I know this? I am one of those women. I’ve had to be extremely careful about doing too much too quickly. Change is sacred and deserves to be taken seriously, enough so that we give it time to manifest and get settled before we move on to the next challenge.
***This post is an excerpt from Kellie Stone’s book, “The Butterfly Payoff“. Stay connected for upcoming information about obtaining a copy of this gold nugget-filled work!
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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A Little Passion Goes a Long Way
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Passion – a word that has so much energy and promise. It brings lovers together; it wins wars; it creates fine art and literature; it makes money; and it works miracles. Those who find it have the potential to do all of the above and more. What are you constantly drawn to do that gives you that feeling of accomplishment and joy? Though this may have nothing to do with your purpose, it’s likely that it can give you a clue – a direction in which to start seeking.
“Passion is contagious, and when you have the courage to share your passion for life with those around you, it can inspire others to find the path to their dreams!” ~Michele DeVille
Keep in mind, though, there are passions that serve you and others well – and those that don’t. Just as the honorable, passionate woman brings beauty and love to the table, her counterpart, the naughty, greedy (equally passionate) gal can ruin lives faster than you can say Desperate Housewives. Is Your Passion Honorable? In a perfect world, I could give you a perfect answer, but we all know that is not going to happen anytime soon. So, instead, I will give you the best one I know: it depends on what you believe is honorable. And in that perfect world we would all understand the legitimacy of honor. It is simple and really does fit in a nutshell: Love. If what you desire is driven by love for someone or something else other than self, it’s honorable.
Acting from a place of love and intuition will honor you as well as mankind. Secondly, it will make room for you. That means you won’t be fighting tooth and nail to express or work within your passion. Furthermore, others notice you can’t stop talking about it with a broad, natural smile on your face. It expands your world and makes your heart beat faster.
***This post is an excerpt from Kellie Stone’s book, “The Butterfly Payoff”. Stay connected for upcoming information about obtaining a copy of this gold nugget-filled work!
If you enjoyed this post, you will love this one: It’s Your Journey Whether You Like It or Not
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Have you ever met someone who whines about everything? She never accepts responsibility for her actions; it’s always the fault of someone else. It’s fair to say that this perpetual attitude is precisely why she is living a life of despair and frustration. She has never realized that it’s her Journey to own and treasure. After all, isn’t it much more fun to pass the proverbial buck on to Aunt Millie or anyone who willingly enables us to do so? For a while, perhaps, then it gets old…excruciatingly old.
A remarkable woman comes to mind; her name is Helen Keller. Though everyone has at least heard of her, the story told in most text books and biographies may not make the point that I’m about to. Helen was someone who knew how to own her circumstances and make the best of the hand she was dealt. Where so many fail and get tripped up, she succeeded. Why? I believe it was her circumstance of limited senses that gave her a unique perspective about “who she was and why she was here”.
She had no distractions (TV, radio, eye candy, Face book, fussy kids) from the powerful emotions and drive she felt inside. Some of those emotions were dark but only because she wanted to communicate so badly. Just think how many times we hesitate to speak out or be ourselves due to confusion or fear. Not Miss Keller; nothing stopped her from pushing (working) through her challenges to become one of the most renowned motivational icons of the twentieth century; an inspiration to all, not just the physically-challenged, an astounding achievement if you consider her limitations. Like Helen, I tend to believe that our “limitations” are the key to making a distinct mark on the world. It makes me believe in miracles to read about her life.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
IntrospectiveSunday
One of the most poisonous thoughts anyone can have is this: I can’t. Have you ever considered how many times you’ve rehearsed that statement in your mind? You don’t even have to say the words out loud or clearly identify them consciously for them to have a negative impact on your life. After a while the implication of not being able to do or receive something comes in the form of what I call “drive-by feelings.” Let me explain…
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Limitations
I’ve always loved beautiful things, clothing, furniture, jewelry, etc. but have lacked the income to purchase most of what I find attractive…it’s felt like a curse at times. I would look at photos and touch the items with unfulfilled yearning time-and-time-again just to be disappointed by my mind that always initiated words and emotions of discouragement. It was like an invisible flash card in front of me that emphatically said: You can’t have that! Most of the time I wouldn’t even hear the words; I began to feel instant emotional let down without even thinking anything. I knew I had to change this devastating “auto-pilot” response to the desires of my heart; otherwise, I would never have them.
Change Comes
One day, I opened my Internet Home Page as usual and saw an article/review for a new car created by Porsche called the Panamera. I have loved all things Porsche since I was a young teen. The photo of the new car intrigued me, so I opened the link and even researched further on the Porsche site. Surprisingly, I felt like a kid in a candy store with a pocket full of money! I didn’t feel the violating “drive-by” negative emotion, nor did my mind rehearse any “I can’t” lines. WOW! I had a HUGE breakthrough in mental awareness. This, my friends, is how you create your future! It has to happen on the inside first before you see it on the outside. I’ll let you know when I pick up my new car!`
Now, let me clarify something: you don’t have to do this with $100,000.00 cars or anything luxurious for that matter. You can be much more practical if that’s your desire. Be aware of your reactions to anything that typically has been mentally “off limits” to you; such as, overcoming chronic illness, landing a new job, a fulfilling marriage or relationship, obedient kids. Start small and work up bigger things.
Introspection
This week ask yourself what things and/or events that you truly want in your life. Write down your answer in your journal. Now, next to that list, record how you feel and what you think when you think about those things. Is it negative, positive or indifferent? Focus on why wanting those items and changes causes subsequent emotions whether they be pleasant or discouraging. Remember, awareness is your first step to changing. Also consider this is not going to change overnight. Practice makes perfect in this case.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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Well, ladies (and gents), I’ve been loving my new apartment with a lake view. It has given me some true relaxing time, staring out at the reflection that somehow always looks more interesting than the real thing. I’ve been paying attention to a group of ducks that lives by the lake. They are out swimming, flying, and playing every day. I’m thankful for the fact that I get on-the-spot epiphanies from nature’s performance quite often. This week was no exception.
The ducks launch from the lake’s edge frequently. One day I noticed the white raised wake that follows them to their destination. It’s point is always at their tale. It then spreads into arrow formation that, as the duck swims, gets wider and wider. The wake points touch both sides of the lake by the time the duck reaches the upper end (see photo for reference). And, if the duck stops, it stops and fades away. If the duck changes direction, it follows him…
My initial thought prompted a nugget: The ducks, doing what they are supposed to do, create an ever-spreading effect on the lake that is totally controlled by their movement.
Application: YOU and I can live with purpose (doing what we were meant to do) and affect the world with an ever spreading message that we can control by our movements. I thought it was cool!
So, today, think about what message you want to bring to the world; how you will spread it; how far you want it to reach; and whom you want to receive it.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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Fortunate Friday: The Simple Things
Do people tell you all the time that you are confident? Does being the center of attention get you revved up for your day or week? And one last question: Do you know the difference between being confident in yourself and being vain? I’m not here to answer those questions; that you have to do all on your own. Sorry. What I am going to tell you is my perspective on the topic and how your understanding of yourself can catapult you to new heights in your life.
Confidence: assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities
Since I can remember, I have been a confident girl/woman. Now let me tell you exactly what that means, at least to me. It means that I don’t freak out when asked to speak in front of people; I don’t mind walking into a crowded room; I’m not afraid to try new things (most of the time); and it doesn’t take much persuasion for me to talk about myself to others.
Now, let me tell you about a time when I crossed the line into the world of vanity. It went something like this: I would not leave the house unless I had on full make-up, hair done, every article of clothing in place, and I knew I looked good. Nothing wrong with looking good, but it was a little extreme when it caused me to be late, miss out on opportunities, and even hinder relationships. I also would not shut up long enough to let anyone else talk. I couldn’t because it was all about me. I now know how much I missed by not listening to others.
Vanity: extreme love of self : feelings of excessive pride
The line (the really thin one) is almost invisible to those of us who are confident. We even use the “I’m a confident woman” as an excuse for our behavior. When every thought, action, and plan we have becomes about ourselves, it’s time to take an inventory. I did. Vanity is something that can capture you, wrap you up, and render you as helpless as being without confidence. It repels people and opportunities.
What is Confidence, Really?
Confidence is not a trait that many are just born with. Though some seem to possess it from a very young age…the preschooler who always starts the games and activities; the first-grader who always raises her hand; the middle school girl who tries out for the cheer team “just because” and actually makes it. You know those types, don’t you? Usually confidence is gained over a period of time by being yourself and having positive results come from your thoughts and actions. Others notice you for being genuinely caring and interested in them and the world around you. Confidence. Then you have the ones who fly quickly past confidence and go straight to vanity. Here’s some insight into how they might act:
What is Vanity, Really?
The vain woman is a delicate creature who needs to have praise, attention, and be as perfect as possible at all times. They think that everything and everyone around them is focused on them; therefore, they have to obtain perfection. The funny thing is that though perfection is the goal, the woman may be clueless to what is expected or even wanted by those around her. For example: a businesswoman- a vain one- gets a new position at a prestigious company. She is determined to show off her goods in beauty and in talent. Barely passing the office door, she is already flirting with the men, making the women uncomfortable, and assuming that the boss is putting all of his or her eggs in her basket. She has inadvertently shot herself in the foot with her inappropriate behavior.
Everything is Not About You…or Me
Time to get a clue, ladies and gentlemen (I know you men read WLL, too). You know who you are. At this point in our existence and the crucial time in our history, we need to start thinking about the greater good of mankind as opposed to “what can I get out of this?”. Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for give and take and getting something in exchange for your hard work. But here’s the thing: keep in mind that there are 6 billion other people on the planet who are just as valuable as you are. Furthermore, they are not all alive to serve you, to love you, to praise you, or to even look at you for that matter. So, start thinking about your actions and thoughts in terms of how you can bring a little more focus on others and get it off of yourself. Vanity is nothing more than a tool of self-destruction.
For the sake of creating a short book on the issues of vanity, I will end this post here. However, if this is a topic that you’d like to hear more about, leave a comment or feel free to email me directly at womenslifelink@gmail.com.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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The Courage To Be Me…The Courage To Be You
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Journey to Journal and Journal to Journey
As a writer and Journey Coach, I will always advocate journaling as a way to express your innermost feelings and thoughts without fear of judgement or comments from others. There is more to it than that though. Because of our nature, we forget things…even important things that we should remember. Profound moments happen all the time. When we listen to our hearts and our ideas, we have the opportunity to take a souvenir from our Journey and continue on with it until it’s time to let it go. Here are the top reasons I tell my coaching clients to journal on a regular basis.
1. Journaling allows us continual access to thoughts and feelings from past moments that are significant.
2. When you look back at what was important to you then, you can compare to the changes or similarities you are experiencing today. I believe that true passion and purpose is revealed in seeing what doesn’t leave you over time. Those driving forces have always been there and will continue to be there until your dreams and/or purpose shifts (more on that later).
3. Journaling is a way to be accountable to yourself. Writing down your vision and goals will increase your chances of accomplishing them.
4. It is a true measure of self-growth. You will reveal your authentic self in your writing if you’re honest and journal without inhibition…that’s the point, really. Try it; it’s liberating!
5. The information you put to paper or hard drive will be invaluable to you when you decide to write a book, a song, help someone else, teach, tell your grand-kids about your life, or simply revisit your life.
Happy Journaling!
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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IntrospectiveSunday
Do you ever just see yourself, your life, and your future as being a part of one big scene of camouflaged wilderness? You know…it all seems to blend in without uniqueness or boldness. I had an experience as I was looking out on the lake last night, and I valued it so much, I thought it worthy of posting. It’s extremely dark in the area where I live. If it weren’t for the lights around the pool and clubhouse, you would barely be able to see anything. However, lights from the apartment buildings reflect on the water just enough to enable you to see an occasional hungry fish jump for a bug or the young family of ducks wander the gamet of the lake until their mom calls them back. Last night was especially dark, so I was a little bummed that I couldn’t see any of the usual wildlife in action.
And then, I saw him…or her.
A beautiful white duck swimming toward me. I had not seen it before. It wasn’t of the brown duck family. It was the proverbial “sign” that suddenly gave me inspiration where there was none.
He continued to swim around for awhile, just long enough for me to “get it”. I realized that I want to be the white duck in a pond of brown ones; that I want to stand out in contrast to the dark, muddy lake; that I CAN create a life that is extraordinary! Yeah, all that from the appearance of…One White Duck.
It’s our responsibility to bring our uniqueness to the forefront; to allow others to glean from our brilliance and gifts; to make a statement loud enough to be heard from a distance; to shine in our darkness and that of others.
So, I ask you today: Are you living a “white duck” life? Are you fulfilling the purpose of your special “contrast” to the world?
Tell us your “white duck” dream.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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Just to let you know, I’ve lacked in the inspiration department lately…as if you couldn’t tell. I realized that it’s not that I don’t have anything to write about, but it’s that I have too much to write about. Am I making any sense at all? If not, click out, do your search, and go visit one of those “other” blogs. I’m really done with worrying about what my readers think about my every word. Don’t get me wrong; I love you, but the stress is not worth it. I am who I am. Love me. Hate me. It’s all a part of the Journey…
I’ve come just far enough through a break up with my husband of almost nineteen years to learn and understand some things. Dare I share them with you? YES! They might help someone out there…
1. Fear (not people) is controlling and always gets in the way of your dreams and goals.
2. Be good to yourself. If you don’t, know one else will.
3. Be careful around addicting substances and people. Hook, line, and sinker…that’s all I have to say about that.
4. Don’t put yourself in emotionally charged situations; such as, weddings, funerals, graduations, baby showers.
5. If you feel yourself sabotaging your health, wellness, dreams, get accountable…damn quick!
6. Drink lots of water…I always say that!
7. Don’t make important decisions when emotionally compromised ( it’s OK to choose salad dressing and stuff like that).
8. Believe in your ability to make it through anything…no matter what!
9. Accept responsibility for YOUR actions. That means there may be consequences, too.
10. You can never take words back…
I hope that you find everything you want out of life, that your journey is adventurous, and you make effort everyday to get closer to your authentic self. Add your best break up tip if you dare…
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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What Is Your State of Mind…Really?
IntrospectiveSunday
Well, I couldn’t think of a more appropriate day to come back to my regular posting than the one where I “Introspect”. It’s been an interesting couple of weeks moving into a small two bedroom apartment with my youngest daughter. This transition from being married and living with five other people to it being just the two of us is revealing. Let me explain.
Ever since I can remember, I have sought out other people, friends, family with which to spend the majority of my time. Though my tendency to do this has not changed, it’s the opportunity to “always have people around” that has. You get used to having other bodies present, hearing voices other than your own, getting irritated by the quirkiness of other humans. The time alone, or semi-alone, is just a different kind of animal for me. A part of me cries; a part of me rejoices, and I’m OK with that. It’s good to even say that, knowing that there was a time when I had to separate each event into two categories: Good and Bad. Well, this is neither good nor bad; it just is what it is.
My introspection is this: What are the reasons I find being around others all the time appealing? What are the challenges? How can I find more energy and fulfillment being by myself?
If you have the opposite challenge of feeling overwhelmed when with others and find it difficult to be around groups of people, ask yourself these questions: What are the reasons I find being alone so appealing? What are the challenges? How can I find more energy and fulfillment being with people?
My Discoveries
♦ I don’t like being alone because there is no one to listen to my ideas.
♦ I receive energy from the presence of others.
♦ I like to look at people and listen to their voices, hearing what they have to say.
♦ My personality type is one that receives energy from regular touch and interaction with people .
The Challenges
♦ I don’t get quality time to do this introspection thing…LOL
♦ I ignore my own needs.
♦ Missing too many important points of self-improvement due to constant interaction with others.
♦ I can’t listen to the music I want to or sing without getting an emphatic “Shut up!”
Finding Balance
♦ I can practice being alone by doing things that I love like visiting a museum or garden park.
♦ Schedule time with friends and family so I have events to look forward to.
♦ Continue to introspect during times of solitude (that sounds so much better than saying “being alone”).
♦ Allow myself to feel the emotions without judgement.
If you feel inclined to do so, please join me in today’s self-awareness exercise and share your discoveries!
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
Hi everyone! I’ve been taking time to work out some family stuff recently and have not posted the usual daily article. I found a poem by Susan Polis Schultz that really spoke to me this week and wanted to share it with you.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
This life is yours
Take the power
to choose what you want to do
and do it well
Take the power
to love what you want in life
and love it honestly
Take the power
to walk in the forest
and be a part of nature
Take the power
to control your own life
No one else can do it for you
Take the power
to make your life happy
IntrospectiveSunday
It’s a beautiful day in Indy; the birds have been serenading since around 5:00 AM. My soul is connected to nature more now than ever. I believe in the force that drives us all to live and breath. In considering my place in the world, I suddenly got a picture of a child standing at the edge of a street, wanting to cross but a little hesitant because of all the times she was warned that something “bad” could happen. She wants what is on the other side, she excitedly thinks but knows that there are obstacles to getting there.
“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.” ˜Doug Firebaugh
Moving ahead in life (crossing the street) is just another way of bringing clarity about who you are and understanding of “what” lies before you. Though there may be scary things or challenges to that move, it still is a part of life, the “real” life we are supposed to live. It’s OK to be hesitant, but with all courage girded up, the best thing is to “look both ways before crossing” and proceed when It feels right.
Asking for Help
Even a child knows they have limitations and is aware of actions that should not be attempted without help. We really aren’t a whole lot different when we grow up; we still need help from time-to-time. It’s a lot easier to move when you know that others have your back…like the child that knows mom or dad is standing close by, hand outstretched, ready to assist in her next step.
It’s Worth Another Look… just in case
One of the things I always do while driving is be constantly aware of where I am, what is around me, and what danger might be lurking ahead – true defensive driving. When I make any kind of turn, I always look both ways and then look back to the left one more time before I pull out into any intersection. This precaution has saved me from many accidents. The world has too many people who don’t look before they leap…it’s those people from which we must defend ourselves.
One thing I understand about any kind of progress whether it be “life” or “vehicular travel” is that to be driven by fear hinders and actually makes bad things happen; to be moved by confidence and clarity gets you there and more securely.
Ask yourself: What is on the other side of the road that you want? What obstacles are in your way? How do you proceed? Feel free to tell us about your special “crossing”.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!
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Yes, I’m still here…sorry about the gap in the personal insight posts. I’ve been a little high strung lately and not sure if you really wanted to hear about it. I’m spending a lot of time figuring things out and planning for some major life changes. It’s not good or bad; it just is. I’ve accepted that labeling the events of our lives doesn’t always serve well in the emotional department. Perception is the only thing that really matters.
I’ve absorbed every possible life-lesson I can from Finding Nemo and the fifteen episodes of Barney & Friends that my sweetie-pie-two-year-old would watch every minute if I let her. For example:
♦ Never put all your “eggs” in one basket…or anemone.
♦ Barracudas are mean.
♦ Don’t overprotect your children.
♦ Swimming with jellyfish is not a good idea.
♦ Letting go is not the end of the world.
♦ If you don’t know what to do, just keep swimming.
♦ Trying new things is imperative for self-growth.
♦ Keep your friends close.
♦ Never underestimate the power of determination.
I could go on…and on, but I won’t.
Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!